Congratulations to Darren on obtaining the underwear of a bitch that he pummelled on the first night of his visit from the States. Let me set the scene - Mr Andrew Tyrrell had kindly extended his usually female only hospitality to Darren, by allowing him to stay at his house if he didn't want to go home for whatever reason, therefore he gave him a spare key.
Although Darren was very happy with this arrangement, he did not actually stay there. Or that's what we were lead to believe!!! Mr Tyrrell returned home one morning after staying out himself to find that some of the chess pieces were knocked over and a couple of other items around the house were not quite as he left them.
Upon further inspection he found that there were no dirty mugs in the kitchen, all the beds were still made yet he still suspected something....
Then he found the evidence he needed. He hired a couple of forensic detectives to go through his house with a fine toothed comb to see if he needed to make a claim from his dodgy insurance company policies that he has sold himself over the last few years. The results of these in depth examinations of the rooms of Mr Tyrrell's abode located a bright pink false finger nail in the kitchen and most concerning was the size 16 g-string panties that were located under the spare bed. Darren had to come clean (which was more than can be said for the very recently soiled panties).
Further analysis of the finger nail (exhibit A) showed that it had recently been inserted up the back passage of male in his 30's with a crooked nose and now possibly lives in the States. DNA testing of the soiled panties (exhibit B) showed that they were 100% certain that they belonged to a complete bloater that has the face that resembles a cats intestines after being run over by a double decker bus. Her ass will be the size of a rhino and she will certainly have been walking with a limp for a couple of weeks due to signs of tampering in the anal region.
Congrats to Darren on the addition of the 2 articles in the Cheeky Monkey Trophy cabinet:
Exhibit A Bright Pink False Fingernail
Exhibit B Size 16 Soiled G-string