*Note: If you're the proud owner of one of these verbal masterpieces and you'd like to take credit for your work, email me and I'll make sure the world knows of your genius.
"...and I'm more attractive than my mom. I mean... uh... more attractive than she is now."
"Well, yeah, but I'm not going announce that you make Sweet Cream in front of 330 of the most perverted students at Tech."
"Ew dude"
"Why would I date him? He's not an asshole."
"Engineering kicks my ass. If I bend over, you can see the red marks all over it."
"My GPA is 4.7 meters per second squared."
"Chemistry test? No! Beer? Yes!"
"It's Over! ...I'm going to go sit on her loft."
"Wow! Whoever that is, has a lot of jobs. Who is this Va-cant guy?"
"Are you hiding food from fat people?"
"Five more minutes, Mom... five more minutes..."
"I define myself by Swedish furniture."
"San Francisco is full of bums."
"But they're nice bums."
"Who doesn't have time.... (edited for content)?"
"If I were a cat, I'd be allergic to myself." "Her hood was up under my bumper... I wanted to radio in: "I've been hit from behind!""