A lot of Blonde Jokes......
Really, I do not care for blonde jokes, blondes are nice
people, especially if they have curly hair!! Here are over 100 blonde jokes for
your pleasure.
How do you hit a blonde and she will never know it....with a
thought!
How can you tell a smart blonde from a dumb blonde....the
smart blondes have dark roots.
Why don't blondes eat pickles...because they get their heads
stuck in the jar.
Why did the blonde get fired from the M & M factory...she
threw out all of the W's.
How do you make a blonde laugh on Monday...tell her a joke on
Friday.
What do you call a zit on a blonde's butt...brain tumor.
Why don't blondes make kool-aid...can't fit 8 cups of water
in the little packages.
What do you call a blonde with half a brain...gifted.
Why do blondes have T.G.I.F. printed on their shoes...stands
for Toes G o
In First.
How many blondes does it take to change a tire .... 5--2 to
get sodas, 2 to cry and 1 to call daddy.
How do you give a blonde a brain transplant .... blow in her
ear.
What do blondes and beer bottles have in common .... they're
both empty from the neck up.
What does a blonde say when you blow in her ear .... thanks
for the refill.
What's the mating call of a brunette .... Is that darn blonde
gone yet?
Why do blondes wash their hair in the kitchen sink ....
that's where you wash vegetables.
How do you get a blonde's eyes to sparkle .... shine a light
in her ear.
What's the advantage of being married to a blonde .... you
can park in handicapped zones.
What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you ....
pull the pin and throw it back.
Why did the blonde climb over the glass wall .... to see what
was on the other side.
How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb .... 6 -
2 to read the instructions, 1 to find the switch, 2 to stand on, 1 to screw the
bulb.
How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb .... two
.... one to hold the diet pepsi and one to call daaaady.
The blonde stayed up all night to see where the sun went ....
it finally dawned on her.
Brunette to the blonde .... Awww, look at the dead birdie
.... the blonde stopped, looks up and says, "where"?
How do you know a blonde has been working at your computer
.... there is "white-out" all over the screen.
How can you tell if another blonde been using the computer
.... there's writing on the "white-out".
Why do blondes wear ear muffs? .... to avoid the draft.
What is the blonde doing when she hold her hands over her
ears .... trying to hold on to a thought.
Why did the blonde stare at the frozen orange juice can for 2
hours? .... because it said "concentrate".
Why did the blonde snort Nutra-Sweet .... she thought it was
diet "coke".
Why did the blonde put her finger over the nail when she was
hammering .... the noise gave her a headache.
Why did the blonde have blisters on her lips .... from trying
to blow out light bulbs.
Why did the blonde climb up to the roof of the bar .... she
heard that the drinks were on the house.
Why don't blondes have elevator jobs .... they don't know the
route.
Why does blondes have elevator jobs .... they like going up
and down.
Why do blondes work seven days a week .... so you don't have
to retrain them on Monday.
How does a blond know if she's on her way home or on her way
to work .... she opens her lunch box to see if there is anything in it
How did the blonde die drinking milk.......the cow sat down
Why don't blondes make chocolate chip cookies .... it takes
to long to get the shells off the M & M's
Why can't the blonde keep a job at the M & M factory .... she
keeps throwing away the W's
What do you get when you offer a blonde a penny for her
thoughts .... change
How many blondes does it take to make chocolate-chip cookies
.... 10 .... one to mix the dough and nine to sort out the W's
How many blondes does it take to make chocolate-chip cookies
.... 3 .... one to make batter and two to peel the M & Ms.
How can you tell if a blonde has baked chocolate cookies ....
there are M & M hulls all over the floor
How can you tell if a blonde is going to back chocolate
cookies .... she is throwing out all of the W's
What is written at the bottom of a blonde's fishing pond ....
bring your own fish
Have you heard what my blond neighbor wrote on the bottom of
her swimming pool .... no smoking
what does a blond do when someone says its chili outside ....
she grabs a bowl
what do you call a blonde with one brain cell .... gifted
What do you call a blonde with two brain cells .... pregnant
What is a blond with brunette died hair .... artificial
intelligence
Why did the blond stare at the orange juice .... it said
concentrate
Why Can't Blondes get "mad Cow Disease .... you can't get it
twice
How do you sink a submarine full of blondes .... knock on the
door
What stops then goes, stops then goes .... A blonde at a
blinking red light
What do you call two blondes in the freezer .... frosted
flakes
Pepsi came out with a new can just for blondes .... It has
"open other end" printed on the bottom.
Why do blondes always rapidly flap their hands towards theirs
ears .... they're refuelling
Why do blondes comb their bangs strait up .... They don't
want anything going over their head
How did the blonds brain cell die .... alone
What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios
.... Hey, Look!! A bunch of doughnut seeds
What do you call a smart blond .... Labrador
How many blonde jokes are there? .... none, they're all true
Why don't blonds ever become pharmacists .... It's too hard
to fit the bottle in the typewriter
Why did the blonde purchase an AM radio .... she didn't want
one for nights
Did you hear about the dead blonde in the closet .... she was
last years hide and seek winner
Why are there blonde jokes .... to make brunettes jealous
Why doesn't a blonde make Kool Aid .... couldn't get 8
glasses of water in the little packet
What's the advantage of being married to a blonde .... you
can park in the handicapped zone
What is dumber than a brunette building a fire under water
.... a blonde trying to put it out
What do you call a blonde with a brand new P.C .... a dumb
terminal
How do you call a blond .... you don't .... you whistle
What does a blond say when she see's a banana skin on the
side walk .... am going to fall again
I'm a blonde and still like blonde jokes .... must have been
written by a true blonde
Why are blonde jokes so easy to understand .... so brunettes
can understand them
How did the blond burn her ear .... the phone rang while she
was ironing
What's a blond between 2 brunette .... a mental block
Why do blondes wear their hair up .... to catch anything that
goes over their heads
Why does a blonde smile when there is lightening .... she
thinks she is getting her picture taken
There are 17 blonds standing outside a disco but they could
not get in .... the sign said, "must be 18 to enter"
How many blonds does it take to change a light bulb .... only
one .... she holds it in the socket and waits for the world to revolve around
her
What do you call 3 blondes that walk into a building ....
beats me .... you would think one of them would have seen it
How do you drown a blonde .... glue a penny to the bottom of
a pool
Why are there no brunette jokes .... because blondes would
have to think them up
How does a blonde make instant pudding .... places the box in
the microwave, and looks for the "instant pudding setting
How do you confuse a blonde, put three shovels against the
wall and tell her .... to take her "PICK"
How do you drive a blonde crazy .... put her in a round room
and tell her to stand in the corner
Why did the blonde put lipstick on her forehead .... trying
to make up her mind
What do you call a brunette standing between two blondes ....
interpreter
What do you call 24 blondes in a cardboard box .... a case of
empties
Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink .... that is where
you clean all vegetables
Why did it take the blonde 7 days to drive from St. Louis to
Chicago .... she kept seeing signs that read .... stop clean bath room
A blonde went to the doctor's with burnt feet, "how did you
do it" asked the doctor" .... "cooking soup .... the instructions said "open can
.... stand in boiling water for 7 minutes
There were two blondes driving to disney land in Los Angeles.
The were looking for signs that would lead them there. One of them finally saw a
sign. It said "Disney, Left .... so they turned around and went back home
Why can't a blonde make ice cubes .... Don't know the recipe
How do you get rid of blondes .... form a circle, give each a
gun and tell them they are a firing squad
Why did the blonde buy a brown cow .... to get chocolate milk
What is the difference between a dead blonde and a skunk in
the road...there are skid marks in front of the skunk.
What's the difference between a blonde and a lightbulb...the
lightbulb is smarter, but the blonde is eaiser to turn on.
What is the blondes highest ambition in life...to be like
Vanna White and learn the alphabet.
What can save a dying blonde...hair transplants.
What are the six worst years in a blonde's life...third
grade.
What do UFO's and smart blondes have in common...you keep
hearing about them, but never see any.
What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer...I
don't know, there are some things even a blonde won't do.
What's six inches long, has a bald head, and drives blondes
crazy...a hundred dollar bill.
How do you confuse a blonde...You don't. They're born that
way.
How can you tell if a blonde writes mysteries...if she had a
checkbook.
How can you tell when a fax has been sent from a
blonde...there is a stamp on it.
How can you tell if a blonde is a good cook...she gets the
pop tarts out of the toaster in one piece.
What is the difference between a smart blonde and bigfoot...bigfoot
has been spotted.
What does a blonde make best for dinner...reservations.
What does a blonde say when you ask her if her blinker is
on...it's on, it's off, it's on...
What do you get when you offer a blonde a penny for her
thoughts...change.
What does a blonde say if you blow in her (or his)
ear...thanks for the refill.
What do you call a skeleton in the closet with blonde
hair...last years hide and go seek winner.
What do you call a basement full of blondes...a whine cellar.
What do you call a blonde at the bottom of the pool...an air
bubble.
What do you call a blonde behind a steering wheel...an air
bag.
What do you call a blonde between two brunettes...a mental
block.
What do you call 20 blondes standing ear to ear...a wind
tunnel.
What do you call 15 blondes in a circle...a dope ring.
What do you call a blonde in college...a visitor.
What is five miles long and has an IQ of forty...a blonde
parade.
A blonde and brunette jumped off of a 20 story building. The
brunette hit the pavement but not the blonde...she got lost.
Boyfriend said to his blonde girlfriend, I am going to go
skeet shooting .... but I don't know how to cook skeet.
Question to the blonde .... why do you have an ice pack on
your chest .... to keep the milk fresh.
How do blonde brain cells die .... alone.
How do you measure a blonde's intelligence .... stick a tire
pressure gauge in her ear.
How to you keep a blonde busy all day .... put her in a round
room and tell her to sit in the corner.
What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you .... run
.... she's got a hand grenade in her mouth.
How do you get a blondes eyes to twinkle .... shine a
flashlight in her ears.
How do you kill a blonde .... put spikes in her shoulder
pads.
Why does a blonde wear shoulder pads .... to keep from
hurting her head as she rocks it back and forth and said "I dunno".
How do blondes pierce their ears .... they put tacks in their
shoulder pads.
How do you drown a blonde .... put a mirror at the bottom of
the pool.
Why do blondes hate M & M's .... they're to hard to peel.
How do you know when a blonde is making chocolate chip
cookies .... there are M&M shells all over the floor.
What job function does a blonde have in an M&M factory ....
proof reading.
How do you keep a blonde in suspense .... I'll tell you
tomorrow.
How do you keep a blonde busy .... write "please turn over"
on both sides of a piece of paper.
Why can't the blonde make ice cubes .... she lost the
receipt.
Why did the blonde stand in front of the mirror with her eyes
closed .... she wanted to see what she looked like when she was sleeping.
How many blondes does it take to play hide and seek .... one.
What do you call a blonde with 90% of her intelligence gone
.... divorced.
Why couldn't the blonde write the number eleven .... she
didn't know which 1 came first.
Why are blondes so dumb .... so brunettes can understand them
Why do blondes have more fun .... they are easier to keep
amused.
What is it called when a blonde blows in another blonde's ear
.... data transfer
What does a blonde say when told she is pregnant .... Gee,
Are you sure it's mine?
Why don't blondes make Jello? .... they can't figure out how
to get two cups of water into those little packages.
Why do blondes have TGIF on their shoes .... Toes Go In First
Why do blondes drive BMWs .... because they can spell it
Why don't blondes eat pickles .... because they can't get
their head in the jar
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