The Game Of Romance: The Men's Scoring Guide....

Women tell us that the only reason they take so long is to please us men. That if they wear no makeup, guys will not find them attractive. Vise Versa, if they wear to much makeup, they are consider to the guys as sluts. Geez, that is bunch of crap of right there. Ladies, stop blaming us for your problems. They get ready just to take the trash out.  Anyways, well, guys, here is a guide to help u get from the front door to the bed!

1) SIMPLE DUTIES

You go out to buy her flowers: +5
But return with beer: -5

You check out a suspicious noise at night: 0
You check out a suspicious noise and it’s nothing: 0
You check out a suspicious noise and it’s something: +5
You pummel it with a six iron: +10
It’s her cat: -10

2) SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS

You stay by her side the entire party: 0
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a drinking buddy: -2
Named Tiffany: -4
Tiffany is a dancer: -6
Tiffany has implants: -8

3) SATURDAY AFTERNOONS

You visit her parents: +1
You visit her parents and actually make conversation: +3
You visit her parents and stare vacantly at the television: -3
And the television is off: -6
You spend the afternoon watching college football in your underwear: -6
And you didn’t even go to college: -10
And it’s not really your underwear: -15

4) HER BIRTHDAY

You take her out to dinner: 0
You take her out to dinner and it’s not a sports bar: +1
Okay, it is a sports bar: -2
And it’s all-you-can-eat night: -3
It’s a sports bar, it’s all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team: -10

You give her a gift: 0
You give her a gift, and it’s a small appliance: -10
You give her a gift, and it’s not a small appliance: +1
You give her a gift, and it isn’t chocolate: +2
You give her a gift that you’ll be paying off for months: +30
You wait until the last minute and buy her a gift that day: -10
With her credit card: -30
And whatever you bought is two sizes too big: -40

5) THOUGHTFULNESS

You forget to pick her up at the bus station: -25
Which is in Newark, New Jersey: -35
And the pouring rain dissolves her leg cast: -50

6) A NIGHT OUT WITH YOUR PALS

You have a few beers: -9
For every beer after three, -2 again
And miss curfew by an hour: -12
You get home at 3 a.m.: -20
You get home at 3 a.m. smelling of booze and cheap cigars: -30
And not wearing any pants: -40
Is that a tattoo? -200

7) A NIGHT OUT, JUST THE TWO OF YOU

You go see a comic: +2
He’s crude and sexist: -2
You laugh: -5
You laugh too much: -10
She’s not laughing: -15
You laugh harder: -25

8) DRIVING

You lose the directions on a trip: -4
You lose the directions and end up getting lost: -10
You end up getting lost in a bad part of town: -15
You get lost in a bad part of town and meet the locals: -25
She finds out you lied about having a black belt: -60

9) COMMUNICATION

When she wants to talk, you listen, displaying a concerned expression: +20
When she wants to talk, you listen, for over 30 minutes: +5
You listen for more than 30 minutes, without looking at the television: +10
She realizes this is because you’ve fallen asleep: -10