Man I'm Glad I'm a Man

When Oprah comes on, I turn off the TV

I don't shave my legs,

I stand up to pee.

I go to a barber, not a beauty salon

I don't pluck out my eyebrows just to draw them back on.

I don't wax my pubes so I can wear shorts

I use my turn signal, I understand sports.

Man, I'm glad I'm a man, Tell you the reason I am.

I don't go through a phase Every 28 days.

I pay cash at the grocery, no checks or coupons

Don't take a lot of friends when I go the the john.

I don't throw a fit when I break a nail

I don't buy a lot of shoes just because they're on sale.

I don't apply makeup in my rear-view mirror

I don't think of Bambi when I'm out hunting deer.

I drink beer from a bottle, not from a glass

I don't ask my friends about the size of my ass.

Man, I'm glad I'm a man, Tell you the reason I am.

I don't face the pain Of water-weight gain.

I don't spend two hours getting ready for a date

I don't play with dolls unless they inflate.

When someone asks me my age, I never lie

After sex in bed, my spot's always dry.

I don't read about orgasms in Vogue magazines

I don't mind if my dates try to get in my jeans.

I don't spend a fortune on French lingerie This is the same underwear I wore yesterday.

Man, I'm glad I'm a man, Tell you the reason I am.

I don't take a pill

I don't use Massengill.

Man, I'm glad I'm a man, Tell you the reason I am.

I find Michael Bolton Completely revoltin'.

Man, I'm glad I'm a man