|
| HOW
TO |
AND NOT |
DRESS
FOR DANCING |
Regardless
of gender,
when selecting an upper-body garment for dancing, it is very
important that it is cut high in the arm pits and
not have baggy or loose sleeves that can interfere with your partner
getting a hand to your back. Aside from the inconvenience, such
garments
can also be dangerous as a Leader might be looking for a way to get
around
your garment rather looking to avoid other dancers.
The waist
and bodice should also not have
excessive fabric. I am not
saying that you should wear skin-tight garments
nor even tight-fitting ones. I am saying that excessive fabric can
create problems and, if your body parts are unusually located,
undesired accidental contact.
MMn You
should also avoid lace where your partner's hands
are
likely to be (on the dance floor). Jewellery
that will not cut flesh can sometimes catch on lace or other loose
weaves.
MMn
Jewellery, of course, should be very carefully chosen. Be sure to check
your rings, bracelets, and belts for sharp edges or even small points
that can catch in your partner's clothing or jewellery. Long necklaces
can also be hazardous particularly if
you're a fast spinner. Same goes for long hair, particularly pony
tails.
MMn Sylvia
(of Jonathan and) Sykes had extremely long hair
that she braided and pin'd to her chest. The way she spins, her hair
would've been lethal!
MMn
Few men would not
suggest a short skirt that reveals all when you spin. Enough women are
aware of that to keep us happy.
MMn Long
skirts that fly out when you spin can often be an
interference. This is particularly true when they're cut so that they
fly out from higher than mid-thigh. Although I like to see long skirts
cut to fly out from just above the knee, I prefer to dance with
near-to-knee skirts cut to fly from mid-thigh or higher. The shorter
the skirt, the higher the fly-point can be. Long skirts provide the
lovely sight of flowing fabric. They can be cut to not interfere with
the dance and, for those who care, are modest.
MMn It's
very important to me that there's enough room to
get
my knee 'tween your legs. Many skirts prevent
that. It's a minor inconvenience but an inconvenience nevertheless.
MMn
A local woman
has a beautiful silver belt made of convex coin-like parts connected
by a pretty chain. I won't dance with her when she wears that belt
as it has caused considerable damage to my arm. Oh, I didn't bleed or
anything but the damage was still visible the next day.
MMn
Another local woman
has
a very short torso and large and low breasts. Every
first-time-of-the-night I dance with her, I note where her breasts
happen to be as she has one bra that lets them be so low as there's
hardly any waist available. On top of all that, she's gay (Femme) and
probably has even less desire than others for her breasts to meet a
man's
hand on the dance floor.
MMnThis
brings to mind another consideration:
MMnIf your
breasts are more likely to be where your
bra puts them rather than your
bra being where your breasts put it, try to wear bras that keep your
breasts in the same place from one night to the next. We Leaders learn
your body and become comfortable with allowing our muscle memory of
you take care of things. But if your parts move around, change
position,
our muscle memory doesn't know that until too late. That could explain
why some of your regular partners sometimes do things you'd rather
they not.
ADDENDA suggested
by bcochran@*.net in 2005:
· If you take an
electronic communications device onto the dance
floor in the belief that you are so important that the world cannot
survive three minutes unless you are connected to it, put it where it
won't contact your partner or otherwise interfere, such as making a
noise, with the dance.
· Also, please don't take loose change, pens, pencils, and/or
pocket
knives onto the dance floor.
MM
ADDENDUM
[originally eMail to a local beauty]:
Oh, a suggestion:
MMnWhen
you know you're going to a place that's a bit on the dark side, wearing
a little accessory or something near your breasts is a good idea if
you're wearing dark clothing. Be sure to position it where it will not
come into contact with your partner.
MMnIf
you get grabbed more than once during a dance, it ain't no accident.
Shortly after dancing with you, I danced with a short, large-breasted,
short-torso'd woman who was all in black
and m'hands went where they oughtn't've several times. She took it
in good humor, even made a few humorous comments, and asked me to dance
the next one, too, so it appears she knew the hap'nings were
unintentional.
Part of the reason was the lighting and clothing; part was her build;
and part was that she's an inexperienced Swing dancer who wasn't always
where she was supposed to be.
MMn
***
A third party, a
woman,
eMail'd a rim shot something like:
>
Well, maybe it wasn't your intent but it might
have been hers.
MMn
***
An accident happened
while dancing with a black-clad girl who might still be a teen-ager. A
while later, sitting together, I suggested that she wear a pin or
something near her breasts she knowing full well what had caused me to
so say. She coyly replied, bringing to mind the last line quoted above
“Maybe I don't want to…”
MMn
With another woman
who
is an excellent Follower, it appeared to me that a Lead was
deliberately not Followed. The result was a handful. She smiled. I
suspect, based on the two comments above, that she might have caused it
to happen.
— Icono Clast
_________________________________________
Date: 04-27-97
(00:00) From: STEPHIEXXX@*.*
iclast@infinex.com
wrote
>
The waist and bodice should
>
I am saying
>
You should also
>
Jewellery, of course, should be...
>
Be sure to...
>
Few men would not suggest a short skirt that reveals all when you spin.
>
Enough women are aware of that to keep us happy.
>
It's very important to me...to get my knee 'tween your
legs.
MMn[you would know it if I
got mine 'tween yours]
>
Many skirts prevent..
>
I won't dance with her ... as it has caused considerable damage to my
arm.
>
Oh, I didn't bleed ...
MMn[poor thing!]
>
If your breasts are more likely to be where your bra puts ...
>
try to wear bras that...
>
But if your parts move around,...
>
Be sure to position it where it will not come...
>
If you get grabbed more than once during a dance, it ain't no accident.
MMn
For
an iconoclast you have a pretty dictatorial attitude
about how women should dress.
MMnMy first dance teacher
gave us a simple rule which I would recommend that you consider:
FAnything that
goes wrong on the dance floor is the man's fault.E
Correlaries:
1)
The woman wears anything she wants and the man deals with
it.
2)
The woman is shaped the way she is and the man deals with
it.
3)
The woman moves anyway she wants and the
man deals with it.
4)
If the woman wears glass glued to her gown the man bleeds
carefully and avoids
4) getting
any on her dress. (That's
what handkerchiefs are for, or do you reserve
4) yours
for your nose.)
5)
If anything goes wrong the man takes the
blame.
MMnThis has been the
standard for centuries, and I see no reason to change now.
MMnIn dance, everyone
looks at the woman, she is the star,
she makes the couple look good. The guy is not a "leader", he is
a
chauffeur. All he has to do is move her around in a reliable way
so
she can do her thing. If he can't drive while she shows off, she should
get another driver.
MMn On a more helpful
note, I would suggest that you examine your own technique in terms of
reaching for the woman. As a
martial artist, I can grab or strike just about any part of your
anatomy
with great precision with out moving my eyes. If I have one hand
in contact with you I can grab just about any part with my eyes
closed. This is because martial artists practice this.
MMnWe also use very
specific angles of attack and hand positions that more or less
guarantee that our hands are going to end up in
the right place. If you punch toward my face, for example, the
edge of my hand will strike your forearm, travel down to your wrist,
and grab you wrist little fingers first. This works almost every
time. If I went right for your wrist, it would almost never work.
MMn In terms of dancing,
if you reach for the woman hand first, you, of course, are going to end
of grabbing breasts and in general poking her. Instead try reaching
past and around the woman, pulling your forearm back until you make
contact, and then sliding your hand in position. A bump with your
forearm if you miss is better than a grab with your fingers. This will
also help with your problem
of getting tangled in clothes.
MMnAs for your problem
with your delicate hands, I suggest you try the Karate methods of hand
toughening like driving
your hand into rice grains or sand. It shouldn't take too long
before you can tolerate sequins.
— Stephie
MMn
_________________________________
Date:
04-27-97 From: MARSHALL@*.*
>
Anything that goes wrong on the dance floor is the
man's fault.
MMn
.
. . dancing is a *partnership* and as such
it's really incorrect to say that it's one person's fault all the
time for any mistake. As a partnership, you can't really separate
blame and say "you're wrong" or "I'm wrong." Any mistake can be
the fault of the leader, the follower, or both…The partnership has to
take the blame/fault together, as the pair they are.
MMn
>
5) If anything goes wrong the man takes the blame.
MMn
.
. . generally the man will take the blame . . . This doesn't
necessarily mean it's his fault . . . when you're working as a pair,
you can't really split blame between the two partners; the partners
have to take the blame/fault together…I'll apologize for the mistake,
but that doesn't necessarily mean I was wrong.
MMn
>
This has been the standard for centuries, and I see no
reason to change now.
MM
True,
if a woman wants to make it difficult for the man to dance with her,
she's certainly allowed to and the man does have to deal with it…
MMnI believe that Icono
Clast's point is that there are things a woman can do to make it easier
and/or more comfortable for a man
to dance with her. The woman can wear whatever she wants, but
I would hope that women would have enough consideration for the men to
try to dress in such a way that it makes it easier for the men to dance
with them . . .
MMnIf I can't get my knee
between my partner's legs because of what she's wearing, I adapt as best
I
can, but it does make dancing more difficult. So go ahead and
wear whatever you like, but be aware that there are some things you can
do to make it easier and/or more comfortable to dance with you…
— Marshall
___________________________________________
From: ORSawyer
(orsawyer@*.*) Date: 1998/01/30
>
[Icono Clast] does not make a very good
case for leaders
>
[Icono Clast has a] pretty dictatorial attitude about
how women should dress.
MMn
Yes
he does,, but when he was talking about how clothing can get in the way
(regardless of skirt lengths, bras, etc..) he is right, clothing can
have an effect on how easy/difficult it is for a leader to give good
leads. Will I adjust to your clothing? Of course, but you
can make it easier for me if you considered the fact that my working
around your choice of dress distracts from my lead, distracts from the
dance in general, and potentially can impact other couples on the dance
floor, depending on how much adjustment I have to make.
MMM
>
Anything that goes wrong on the dance floor is the
man's fault.
MMn
I
have heard this too. In the sense that it is Gentlemanly to
assume fault in the case of a misstep or misshap, yes, especially when
you are dancing with a new partner or a beginning dancer it is
important to be sensitive, because first of all, everyone has a bad
day, second, if they are new, harsh words could turn them off from
dance altogether, and third, you may want to dance with them again, and
annoying them would not be a good way to start off a dance partnership.
MMnHowever, it is sort of
arrogant to assune that if a follower missteps it is soley because of
the quality of the lead, and therefore cannot possibly be the
follower's fault. Like I said EVERYONE has bad days and makes
mistakes, and no one, man or woman, is perfect.
MMn
>
1) The woman wears anything she wants and the man deals
with it.
MMn
This
is true, but if you are deliberately making it hard for me to dance
with you, I will simply stop dancing with you and find someone else.
MMn
>
2) The woman is shaped the way she is
and the man deals with it.
MMn
Absolutley
true. And vice versa of course.
MMn
>
3) The woman moves anyway she wants and the man deals
with it.
MMn
Not
true. Again, if you are deliberatly making it hard for me to
dance with you, then I will not return for the next dance.
It is up to the follower to follow the man's lead and NOT go off and do
her own thing independently. The leader cannot be responsible if
you are doing things that he is not leading.
MMn
>
4) If the woman wears glass glued to her gown the man
bleeds carefully and avoids getting
>
any on her dress. (That's what handkerchiefs are
for, or do you reserve yours for your nose.)
MMn
Umm....this
seems a bit ridiculous. I would hope it was put in here for
sarcasm, because If I am bleeding, I am leaving the dance
floor, and I will not be back to dance again with you in a dress that
cuts me up.
MMn
>
5) If anything goes wrong the man takes the blame.
MMn
Again,
though he may take the blame, it doesn't mean it is his fault.
MMn
>
This has been the standard for centuries, and I see no
reason to change now.
MM
(I
know this is stretching the point, but) So was slavery, and inequality
between the sexes. Things change, people move on. I think
it is time for you to stop being so inconsiderate of the people you
dance with. I will bet anything, that any leader on this
newsgroup will choose a relaxed, fun, considerate, partner, over
a parter exhibiting the qualilties you speak of, any day. Even
if the fun, considerate follower has less experience, or not as good
a dancer.
MM
>
In dance, everyone looks at the woman, she is the star,
she makes the couple look good.
MMn
What?
A good dance is a result of a partnership between a leader and a
follower.
MMn
>
The guy is not a "leader", he is a chauffeur.
All he has to do is
>
move her around in a reliable way so she can do her
thing. If he
>
can't drive while she shows off, she should get another
driver.
MMn
If
that is what a follower expects, you are right, I am not merely a
mechanism for you to display your ego and arrogance.
MMnAnd while I will not be
your chauffer, I will open the door for you to get out, then lock it.
MMn
>
examine your own technique in terms of reaching for the
woman…
>
. . . if you reach for the woman hand first, you, of
course, are going
>
to end of grabbing breasts and in general poking her.
MMn
Yes,
this is true, it is considerate of the leader to carefully bring the
woman into dance position.
MMn
>
As for your problem with your delicate hands…[to]
tolerate sequins.
MM
Kind
of a snide remark. Fact is, sequins, depending on what they are
made of, and how they are attached, can scratch, and are not the most
comfortable thing to have your hand on when you are trying to give
leads.
MMnOn a side note, it has been
my experience, in my
study of martial arts, that those who talk most about their ablities,
are
the ones most often called upon to prove them. When I speak of
how
my martial arts experience has helped me in dance, I don't think I have
ever used the terms striking or grabbing. This is not the side of
martial arts that you should bring to your dancing. Things
like balance, self control, and fluidity are of the most benefit.
— ORSawyer
MMn
____________________________________
From: morse@phwave*.*
Date: 1998/02/01
>
Anything that goes wrong on the dance floor is the
man's fault.
MM
I
have heard this also, and I agree with it, but be sure that you really
understand what it means...
MMn
>
5) If anything goes wrong the man takes the blame.
MMn
Yes,
I am willing to take the blame for what goes wrong during the dance.
Sometimes this means that I take the blame for making a technical
error, but not always. Sometimes, I lead a move that is too
advanced for a particular lady to follow. In this case, I take
the blame for not making the proper judgement about my partner's
dancing ability. I've yet to encounter problem 3) or 4) at any
dance
venue
I attend. If I do, I will take the blame for not being able to
recognize someone who obviously is not yet ready to take their first
step on a dance floor. (4 is being offered in jest, right?)
Statement 1, 2, and 3 are absolutely true, as long as you remember that
"the man deals with it" includes the option of not asking the woman to
dance in the first place.
MM
>
This has been the standard for centuries, and I see no
reason to change now.
>
In dance, everyone looks at the woman, she is the star,
she makes the couple look good.
MMn
The
attention is probably most exclusively the focus of the dance
in Latin dancing, and still your above statement is too much of an
oversimplification. The man is not passive; to really make his
partner stand out, he must actively project a background of masculine
strength (without looking all tight and tense) to serve as contrast
against her feminine movements.
At times, the man must be hardly moving, yet still be dancing.
Don't
think that because great male dancers make this look easy, that it
really
is easy.
MMnAnd in International
standard, or closed position American smooth, the whole point is can
two people come together and move
as one. And when you get just a little taste of this feeling,
it really is incredible, and you suddenly realize that really learning
to couple with another person is much more exciting then trying to
execute all the steps you know during a dance.
MMn
>
The guy is not a "leader", he is a chauffeur.
All he has to do is
>
move her around in a reliable way so she can do her
thing. If he
>
can't drive while she shows off, she should get another
driver.
MMn
1.
The man absolutely does NOT move the woman. She moves herself, in
response to the lead. For this, and many other reasons...
MMn
2.
The chauffeur analogy is not good. Here's a better one. A dance
is a conversation. It takes two people to have a
conversation, and you don't always know where it's going to end up
after it starts. Unless of course, you plan to say the same thing to
whoever talks to you, no matter what he says.
MMnSo are you interested in
having some really passionate conversations, or do you insist on always
working from the same script, no matter who you dance with?
— Morse
MMn
______________________________________________
From: Robert R. Koblish
(Xn3hat@*.* Date: 1997/04/22
AB}
My preference is that people take off rings, watches,
bracelets, or
AB} an
other potentially sharp
objects before they dance. I've received
AB}
several nasty hand cuts from
jewelry worn by partners.
MMn
At
the risk of saying "Me, too!" — PLEASE remove bracelets and watches —
they get in the way and can hurt you and/or other dancers. Same
can hold true for rings, but not to the same extent.
MMnLadies, when you select a
top to wear to a dance, consider its coefficient of friction.
Those shiny, shimmery fabrics
are nice to look at, but can be so slick as to make it awfully hard
to hold on to you.
MMnSleeveless tops are best
avoided. We all sweat,
and it can be a gross-out to feel a clammy armpit (particularly whilst
swinging). A damp T-shirt is infinitely preferable, IMO.
MMn
__________________________________________
From: John Salter
(jsalt@*.com Date: 1995-01-31 (comment found/added January
2005)
Jamie Hanrahan, Kernel Mode
Systems (jeh@*l.com) wrote:
: The only downside of the
evening was that I didn't notice that one of
my partners was
: wearing a scale metal belt
until I got my hand too close
to it while she was spinning... It still
: hasn't completely
healed.
(Whoever you are, that's a GREAT belt, but not for dancing!
Ouch!)
Cool! War wound stories!
Was dancing WCS on a
(somewhat) crowded floor, leading an underarm
turn, when someone
bumped into me, moving me arm up, and her bracelet caught
me under the chin.
Two inch gash from a sharp edge. Had a scar for a week. Warning: Blood on the dance floor
makes it hard to spin. Disclaimer: Don't try this at home!
):
MMn
______________________________________________
From: William
R. Mattil (wrmattil@*.*) Date: 1997/04/22
Robert
R. Koblish wrote:
>
Sleeveless tops are best avoided.
MMn
Good
plan...
MMn I
once competed Intl Std
with a young lady that had a beautiful sleeveless ballgown
and
afterwards had a real nice patch of [deodorant] on the sleeve of my
tails. Main problem
being that this was Friday night and I was
scheduled to compete again on Saterday as
well.
Therefore: nosleeves = no deoderant
MMn
_____________________________________
From: Valerie
(vstark@*.*) Date: 1997/04/23
>
Therefore: nosleeves = no deoderant
MMn
An
alternative is a product called Lavilin. It is a "long-life"
deodorant. You apply it to clean
skin
before you go to sleep and
wash it off in the morning. It lasts anywhere from 2 days to
2
weeks, depending on your body chemistry. This stuff worked on a
blacksmith of my acquaint-
ance,
a gentleman who didn't have running
water in his home and spent most of his time slaving
over
a hot
forge....
MMnIt is moderately expensive,
but it lasts a long time. You can order it from
1800/LAVILIN.
They
also make a product for feet, which I can't
vouch for, not having used it. No, I
don't work
for
them nor do I own stock in their company. I'm just
happy to recommend a product that
may
make dance more pleasant for
everyone! ;-)
MMn
Ooooh,
and both sexes should trim their nails! Youch!
MMn
__________________________________
From: Victor
Eijkhout Date: 1997/04/22
Robert
R. Koblish writes:
>
Ladies, when you select a top to wear to a dance,
consider its
>
coefficient of friction. Those shiny, shimmery
fabrics are nice to look
>
at, but can be so slick as to make it
awfully hard to hold on to you.
MMn
And
conversely those little ringlets that shine so pretty practicaly scrape
the skin off
a
guy's arm if he doesn't have long sleeves. I hate those!
MMn
>
Sleeveless tops are best avoided…A damp
T-shirt is infinitely preferable, IMO.
MMn
Oh,
I dunno. I have fond memories of that lady who asked me to
towel her down prior
to
dancing a song :-)
MMn
____________________________________
From: Conna
(gandi@*.*) Date: 1997/04/22
I
have to admit, my "opposites" class is giving me a new
appreciation of the importance of materials that minimize the
offensiveness of the unavoidable sweating. hahahahahaha.
But, the gross-out of sleeveless had not occurred to me yet.
<shudder>
MMn
______________________________________________________
From:
DEBORAH WOODYARD Dwoodyar@*.* Date: 03-06-97
Subject:
Ladies latin costume question
(.
. . how to put it politely I don't know...) How do you stop your undies
from riding up when you are wearing a latin dress?
MMnWe have had a friend disqualified from a competition
for showing too much cheek…[how do we] control this problem.
MMn
_____________________________________________________
From: JULIA MALONEY juliamoloney@*.* Date: 06-10-2006
Subject:
Ladies latin costume question
I have a solution:
MMnWorking with ballerinas for quite
a while, I noticed they
all seem to have peculiar habits which involved hair spray. They spray
it onto
their panties and under the panty line. When asked why they did so,
one responded “It stops the undies from riding up.” So maybe
that’s the answer and time to start bulk buying “extra strong”
hair spray.
_____________________________________________
From:
MARK BALZER m-balzer@*.* Date: 03-07-97
First
you have your thighs pierced. Then you buy some
"hog-rings" and a hog-ring plier (available at any upholstery shop),
and... Mark "the next Tool-time guy" B.
________________________________________________
From: Bonnie
Austin (bkaustin1@*.*) Date: 1998/02/01
A
thought on the creeping panties problem: each woman
is shaped a little differently (big surprise, (-: huh?), but a
good seamstress can design a panty that will dance properly without
riding. It may take some trial and error, but it is worth the
effort to feel comfortable on the floor. For an unattached panty
I've had some good luck with Elita brand, number 3404. I can get
them at The Bay (Toronto).
MMn Also,
a comment on the
increasing popularity of pants rather than dresses or skirts for swing
dancers. If I can
wear pants and not have to worry about how high my skirt is flying or
what is showing, why wouldn't I? Again, it is a comfort thing
while dancing. One less thing to worry about so I can enjoy
the action.
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