Newsletters from May 97
5/18/97
Review by MB
This weeks episode begns with Bart's class visiting the police
station on a field trip. Chief Wiggum is late, and then preceds to
take the class around. Bart finds a room full of mega-phones, and
tries one; he then puts one in front of the first one, and it gets
louder. He sudenly gets an idea, and puts all of them together. Bart
says "testing" and cracks every glass object in Springfield. Homer
and Marge don't know what to do with Bart while Wiggum sugests
sending Bart to Military Acadamy. Meanwhile, back in school Lisa's
class is watching filmstrips. Lisa doesn't feel challenged enough,
and then they watch another filmstrip on going to the moon. Homer and
Marge tell Bart they are going to Disney Land, but nobody has
luggage. Homer tells Bar that he's going to Military Acadamy. Bart
complains that nobody told told him, but Homer denies it and says
that he mumbled telling Bart that there going to Military Acadamy.
When they go on a tour, Lisa loves it because it's so
chalanging, and decides to stay. The Acadamy never had a girl cadel,
so they have to give her her own baraks. The principal makes
everybody move out of there bunk for the girl barraks, and moves them
to Bunk L.The kids say "Bunk L?They smell!" but he replies that he
has heard the chant before. Later Bart and Lisa are forced to do
push-ups in the mud as part of a hazing ritual. They ask Lisa if she
likes doing push-ups and she asks if there is anything she could stay
that wouldn't result in more pushups; after a huddle it is decided
the answer is no. At the firing range Bart is told since he is from a
public school he must already know how to use small-arms he is given
a high-tech weapon that fires rockets. Bart proceeds to destroy four
of the five targets, and when it is mentioned of missing one he
replies "oh did I?" and you see Skinner's car in flames. Meanwhile
Lisa cant control her machine gun and is asking for help. A guard
takes the gun from here, and gives her a whislte telling her if there
a war use it. Later Lisa tries to call home, but fails, and then
calls Grandp instead. She tires him out of stories, as with every
member of the retirment comunity. Bart finaly gets in after Lisa and
Bart are tied to a propelor plane, and are swinging around. Bart is
untied and is a friend of the other kids, while Lisa is left there.
At night Lisa gets a package from Marge, and asks Bart if he would
like to listen to it with her, but Bart cant lest he be kicked out of
the group. At the messhall Bart gives Lisa a note that he should meet
him at the elminator at midnight, and the cadest are planing to throw
their meatballs at her., and you see Lisa lift her plate just before
10 meatballs hit it. They met at the eliminator and Bart helps Lisa
parctice for there "final". Sudenly a group of other kids who just
came back from town greet him, and ask what he is doing. Bart says
"nuthin" and asks what are they doing. They reply "nuthin" and tey
leave. But Bart droped the rope holding Lisa. The next day at the
eliminator the officer says since the test is so cruel, it will not
be done after this class. Everybody goes through it, and it's Lisa's
turn. Halfway she almost falls, and everybody yells at her to "drop".
But Bart encourages her and she makes it. After the eliminator their
us a graduation and the head guy speakes about the real world. Homer
and Marge pick Bart and Lisa up and are scared of Bart's dramatic
change. Bart screams in Military style that he is now trained in five
forms of combat fighting without weapons. On the way home Marge and
Homer say there realy going to Disney World now, but they actuly go
to the dentist.
Usually the finale is an episode that is meant to be a cliffhanger-
something to have people hanging on. If it was the rest of the season
it would have been good, but not as a finale, B-
One liners
DF- Lisa and her sentementality was anoying, but Bart and his guys
evended it out, B+
UP-A so-so finale, cold have been beter. Lisa's medal was dumb, B-
JF-Lisa is never funny, especaily as a main character in an epsiode,
C+
Average grade B/B-
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5/11/97
Review by UP
This week's episode was a "Spin-off Showcase", with 3 takeoffs on
famous shows. Troy McLure hosts, and explains that the spin-offs are
being done cause the writers couldn't come up with enough real
episodes.
The 1st takeoff was called Chief Wiggum, P.I, a takeoff
on Magnum P.I. In it, Wiggum takes a job as a private investigator
in New Orleans, with skinner "Skinny Boy" as his assistant. During
his first week on the job, Wiggum gets repeated warnings from the guy
who "owns New Orleans", Big Daddy. After ignoring the first warning,
Ralph is kidnapped by Big Daddy to send a message, that being get out
of town. Wiggum must now try to get his boy back. After searching,
Wiggum comes upon him at Mardi Gras, with some help by the Simpsons
in costumes. After a brief chase, Big Daddy gives Ralph back, then
starts swimming away. Skinny Boy observes that he is gradually
getting away, but Wiggum says don't worry, they'll meet again next
week. The takeoff ends Ralph saying he'd like to grow up to be just
like dad, Skinny Boy says better start eating. All laugh.
The 2nd
takeoff was called the Love-Matic Grandpa. In this one, Grandpa
Simpson has died, and on the way to heaven had his wings clipped
off-he fell into Moe's Love-Matic machine. Now he is giving Moe love
advice. He says that he should pickup the next person who comes into
the bar, and Homer is the first. He is so sick of his father's voice
that he pulls the plug. When he leaves, Moe plugs the machine in
again, and then tries to pickup the next girl. After a few miscues,
with help from the machine to fix them, Moe invites the woman to
dinner at a fancy restaurant. Next we see Moe bringing the love
machine into the men's bathroom. At dinner, Moe is having a bit of
trouble with some nice lines, so he is constantly going to the
bathroom for help. But when he comes in, he sees the machine on the
ground, with an explanation by Jimbo that it
called him gay. Since Grandpa is out of it, he gives some bad
advice, and Moe returns to the bathroom with some dessert on his
head. His date walks in after him, and Moe confesses what he was
doing. Moe's date declares it a really nice thing to do, and the
takeoff ends with them kissing.
The 3rd takeoff is called the
Simpsons Family Variety Hour, a takeoff on Sonny and Cher. Of
course, Lisa would never participate in something like this, but do
some to great casting, it wasn't TOO obvious that it wasn't Lisa.
So, this whole takeoff was the Simpsons singing, along with a guest
on the show. The best song was I want Candy; even Maggie danced for
that one. Also, Jasper sang Lollipop, Lollipop. In the end, the
guest says that he is staying in bed with the Simpsons cause Fox was
too cheap to pay for a good hotel-another hilarious Fox
joke!
Overall, three great takeoffs. Possibly the best episode of
this season, though this doesn't say much. I especially liked the I
want Candy song, with Maggie dancing, Wiggums whole takeoff, and of
course, the Fox joke at the end. I give the episode an A-
Reviews at A Glance:
Martin: They were funny if you know what was being made fun off, but if not,
they were pretty stupid. C+
D'oh!v: Hilarious Simpsons, A-
Josh Freak: I loved the parodies on old TV, a well deserved A
Average grade, A-/B+
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5/4/97
Review by DF
This weeks episode begins with Kent Brockman on Channel 6 News. He does a
segment on "Sheer Determination", featuring Frank Grimmes (FG), the guest
character this week. FG is a nerdy, finicky, hardworking guy who has always
had it rough, despite all his work. After many setbacks, FG perseveres to
earn a degree in nuclear physics and (Kent adds) a minor in determination.
The sceen changes to Mr. Burns' (MB) ofiice, where he and Smithers are
watching the news report. MB is impressed and orders Smithers to hire FG and
make him vice president. FG comes in the next day, but it seems MB forgot
about him, and has hired a famous dog as VP. So FG gets stuck in an office
next to Homer's.
Meanwhile the subplot unfolds. Marge tries to get an original vanity plate,
while Bart roams the building. He wanders into into an action room and bids a
dollar for the item being sold. After a few minutes of auctioneer babble, an
abandoned warehouse is sold for one dollar to Bart.
At the plant, FG is settling in - putting everything at 90 degree angles,
when Homer, Lenny and Carl come to greet him. Homer gives FG a nickname,
Grimey, and pionters on how to slack off. But, Grimey is very unappriciative
and is astounded at Homer's incompetence. So begins FG's growing animosity to
Homer. Later in the day, during Homer's feeding frenzy, he was about to drink
a bottle of acid instead of soda, but FG hit it out of his hand and it
shattered, making a hole in the far wall. FG tries to explain to Homer that
he was nearly killed and that he saved Homer's life, but all Homer understood
was (to FG) "Thanks a lot, that would have been embarrasing." Just then, MB
walks by and yells at FG for destroying his, while Homer remains silent.
Later, Grimey declares that he and Homer are enemies.
Homer is desperate not to have enemies and he tells Grimey to stop by after
work. He instructs his family to be perfect, as he is going to invite FG to
dinner. But, his plan backfires and FG is even more upset that Homer is lazy
and incompetent, and yet he lives "like a king" with a big house, two cars,
went into outerspace, met Gerald Ford, etc .Meanwhile, Bart hires Milhouse to
work in his factory, but it fell apart late at night.
The next day, FG is determined to get everyone in the plant to realize what
a boob Homer is. He tricks Homer into entering a plant diarama contest for
children. When Homer wins, and everybody cheers, instead of laugh, FG can't
handle it and goes bezerk. He runs around the plant doing ridiculous things
say "I can do this, because I'm Homer Simpson." Finally, he goes to far. He
grabs electrical wires and says "It's ok, I'm Homer Simp-" BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!
So ends the tragic life of Frank Grimmes. Later, at the funeral, Rev. Lovejoy
is delivering a very boring speech. Homer, half asleep mumbles "Marge, change
the channel." Everyone laughs "Thats our Homer!"
REVIEWS:
DF: It was a very good episode for this season, but that's not saying much.
Homer had some great lines, the (whats a) dioramas were great and the episode
had great potential, but when FG talked too much and at times it got boring.
B+
LL: This was one of the best episodes I've ever seen. Definitely an
improvement on the other recent ones. Did you catch-"Homer
you've got a 513!":::The auctioneer:::"I am at work...you're on the road
(beep)(beep)" Rating: A+
JF: Lots of places for good jokes, that's good. Few good jokes, that's bad.
B-
UP: It seemed ok at first viewing, but it would probably be better after a
second viewing. B+
MB: So-so, stay with the regular characters. B
AVERAGE: B+
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