Ally McBeal Episode Guide

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May May 22, 2000 A pretty disappointing 6 Flush episode. It's not that I don't like musicals, it's just 1) most of the music sucked and 2)the writers we were so busy making sure that the music had "emotions" that they forgot to create a compelling story. Ally introduces her boyfriend, Brian, to her parents over dinner. Their dinner, however, does not go so well. Ally laughs uncontrollably at everything anyone says. When she finally stops laughing, her dad says something nasty to the waiter. He then criticizes Brian's goal of entering corporate law and describes all British people (which Brian is) as acrimonious. Ally soon hears Gloria Gaynor, but then is interrupted by a singing waiter with the message that she must relax and let "it [the nervousness?] go or you never will succeed." Ally, as a little girl, appears in the middle of the song and sings that it must be hard for him (Dad) to be so mean all of the time. John is at his psychiatrist's office saying that he is only "a little curmudgeon toad." John complains that he has no friends...everyone who is nice to him works for him. The psychiatrist asks about a birthday party for John, and John says that the party is being held by Elaine who only wants an excuse to sing. We then see Nelle at her office with Hope. Nelle shares that she may want to go back to work at her firm. Hope says she can talk to John and get the job back. We are then interrupted by Renee singing about the blues. John and Nelle both join this song and we have a trio of blues. The next day John and Fish are talking. Fish says that he may want to bring Nelle back to the firm. John says absolutely not. He shares that when he was 5 and 6 years old that he was fat as fat can be. A bunch of kids put him in a box and for a quarter people could guess his weight. At this youthful age, John realized that he would lose weight and would never again be so humiliated. Nelle, however, broke that by dumping him while he was in an elevator. Nelle walks in at this point and says that he humiliated her even more. He objected to everything fundamental about Nelle and rejected her. He dumped her and was ashamed of her even before she broke up with him. Nelle says that John is too concerned with how others perceived him whereas Nelle was concerned with how John perceived her. John tells Nelle to leave the office, and he doesn't want her in his life. Later that day, John goes to Nelle's office. The two talk, and they both admit to being hurt. Nelle says, "You couldn't love me, because you couldn't like me." Nelle also complains that John could never love Nelle as he loved "her" (Ally, maybe?). That same next day, Ally's dad shows up at Ally's office. Ally complains that he started fighting with Brian last night. Ally then goes off to see Brian. The two meet at Ally's apartment and Ally only wants to have sex, but Brian says that he cannot take advantage of her being angry at her father. Instead they dance. Having danced and calmed down, Brian is ready for sex, but Ally says no, and she quotes some song from The Music Man. Brian continues the quote, and they then sing a song called "Lida Rose" from the musical. Before singing, Ally informs Brian that she and her father used to sing this song when Ally was little. While the two are singing, dad walks in and sees Ally singing and is upset so he leaves without being noticed. Ally's mom then shows up at her office and says that Ally has to be friends with her father. Ally says that earlier this year, mom said that Ally stole dad from her so why is mom now upset that Ally is withdrawing from dad. Mom says that Dad is Mom's only connection to Ally. Ally says that mom and Ally have a unique link outside of Dad. Later that night, Ally is getting ready to go down to John's party at the bar. Dad walks in and wants to talk with Ally. Ally says that her dad should have been at Billy's funeral. He says that he was in London, but she says that his phone call was hardly appropriate for the pain she was experiencing. Dad then says that he wrote a song for her. Ally says she doesn't have time to hear a song. That Ally may love Brian and she wants Dad to be part of this love, but he isn't. Ally then leaves. At the party, Nelle and Hope show up. Nelle says that what she did was wrong and that she acted towards John and Fish because of the personal anger she felt, but that she will not do it again. She says, "The practice of law is only as good as the people you work with" and then asks to be let back to Cage & Fish (which, let's be honest, doesn't speak volumes for the practice of law). John says that he is OK with her returning, and Fish agrees. I won't quite say that John and Nelle have made up, but they won't be fighting all that much. Fish then asks Hope to sing a special song, and she agrees. She dedicates a song to John in which she asks to be spanked. John finds this song "unacceptable," but I laughed (keep in mind that John once spanked Nelle). At the end of the show, Ling approaches Fish and tells him that "All the men I date have such depth" and she missed "that shallowness we had." She doesn't like the attention Hope has been getting and wants to be back with Fish. I think these two are reunited; however, I hope that Hope becomes a regular cast member. She is friends with Nelle, she'll stir up trouble between Fish & Ling, and she sings nicely, a fact which makes Elaine jealous. Who knows? One other thing: Georgia had a minor role this week as a back-up singer. I heard a rumor that this season was her last, but there was no write-out. Also, a brief cameo by Randy Newman that amounted to nothing. Ally and Brian talk during John's birthday party. Brian has to leave early so he and Ally go outside for a moment to say good-bye. Brian tells Ally that she should try and make up with her father. She says that "we are just another father and daughter that don't talk anymore." Brian says that parents aren't perfect and that we need to keep them. Ally looks at Brian and realizes that he is her boyfriend and that she has very deep feelings for him. Brian will definitely be back next season. Ally then returns to her apartment and sees her father waiting for her. He apologizes for not caring for Ally and says that he should have been at Billy's funeral, but he didn't want to see his daughter unhappy. Ally asks him to play the song he wrote for her. The song is all about Ally, and it's basic point is that Ally is "a real emotional girl," and that her emotions make her so great. Ally seems to like the song whereas I wanted to sleep through it. A bad way to end a not-so-great season. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE: I know I'm better than everybody else, Richard. I just need to hear it sometimes. --Ling to Richard. FISH'S THEME SONG: You can't keep a good man down. END OF SEASON May 15, 2000 A fair episode that only earns 7 Flushes because of the lovely Alicia Witt who guest starred. Nelle visits a lawyer named Hope Mercey (played by Alicia Witt) to ask some advice about starting her own firm. Hope outlines Nelle's plans and will defend Nelle assuming that Richard and John sue Nelle. Nelle gets her own office, moves everything important into that office, and then deceives Elaine into stealing files from the firm. Fish finds out what Nelle did and sues her. The case originally goes before Judge Walsh (surprise, surprise), but is then moved to binding arbitration which is led by Judge Brattle. Nelle appears to be winning, but Ally convinces Elaine to admit to stealing the files. Brattle rules that Nelle has the right to start her own firm but that she was wrong to steal the files so she must pay damages in the amount of $300,000. Nelle is upset about the damages, but Hope convinces Nelle that she won. Nelle, however, is without any friends, including Ling who stays with Richard. By the way, Elaine and Ally stay close and will continue working together despite Elaine's temporary sticky fingers. Also this week, Brian and Ally move closer together. He doesn't call her for two days after their first date, but he explains that he waited because he figures Ally to be the type of girl who would think that if everything is going perfectly that something must be wrong. Mark, realizing that Brian and Ally are getting close, asks Ally out; however, Ally turns him down, and much to Mark's embarrassment, Brian overheard the question and rejection. Brian and Ally, closer in future episodes. Going back a little, Nelle's departure leads to tension between John and Richard over who caused Nelle to leave. Was it John and his peculiar habits (like spanking Nelle and controlling her shoes)? or was it Richard and his promising to make Nelle a partner only to break that promise? They fight and then make-up. Finally, Richard and Hope have had sex in the past. Apparently, Hope has some secret about her that she doesn't want anyone to know and Richard can confirm this secret. There are some rumors about her secret, but we never learn what the secret is. We do learn, that Hope has a lovely button (as in belly button) and Richard enjoys licking it as he does in this episode. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE: Tell all of your little friends to stay hidden I'm a bad witch. --Nelle, reminding John that she doesn't like him and that she finds him little. NEXT WEEK: The season finale titled "Ally: The Musical" May 8, 2000 A pretty bad 5 Flush episode in which Ally asks one person "who can keep [the plot] all straight?" A question to which I answer, "Who cares to keep it straight?" This week Renee catches Ally at cybersex. Ally has been having a four-month, e-mail-based relationship with a thirty-three year-old man she only knows as Thunder Thighs. To date, her relationship with Thunder has been completely friendly, but she recently had a sexual conversation with him and is so intrigued that she wants to meet him. Ally suspects that a lawyer she is up against in a case is the real Thunder, but she is wrong. The real Thunder is a 19 year-old boy named Chris (portrayed by Jonathan Taylor Thomas). At first, Ally tells Chris that she cannot be with him, but he acts confident around her...a trait which Ally is very attracted to (hence, the postmodernist critique of Ally). He asks her to go to dinner with him and she agrees. The two get up to leave when some police officers come out from behind bushes and arrest Ally. With the police officers is Chris's mom who informs Ally that Chris is 16. Ally gets arrested for attempted statutory rape. She goes before Judge Roberta Kittleson (played by Holland Taylor....a role originally created on The Practice) for a pretrial motion to dismiss. Ally goes on the stand and says she did not know Chris was 16, and she did not have sex with him, but during cross-ex she stammers out, "I don't get my jollies helping young boys get erections." Anybody familiar with Judge Kittleson knows that she finds this case amusing given her own past with younger men. Nonetheless, Chris goes on the stand and discusses his fantasy of being with an older woman like Anne Bancroft in The Graduate, but lucky for him he got someone older, someone at least 35 (Ally is really 30), and he was looking for a good time with a sexually-experienced woman. In the end, Kittleson dismisses the charges because there is no proof Ally had any knowledge of Chris's age; however, Kittleson does warn us against the dangers of meeting people through the internet (keep in mind, she hates the internet due to some dirty pictures of her being spread on it). Also this week, Ally is second chair to Mark in the case of Bender v. Hanks. Bender is suing his best friend, Peter Hanks, for having sex with his wife and causing his marriage to fall apart. Mark has Ally second chair in the hopes that he will get Ally to fall for him. He asks John if he has any shot of getting Ally to date him. John responds, "Well, Mark, with Ally it's about the internals, and you have the depth of a bottlecap." As a result, Marktries to act deep around Ally, but his attempts fail. Ally fa lls for the opposing counsel in the case whose name is Brian Selig. Brian is a British fellow and wants to date Ally despite her attempted statutory rape. Before their date, a verdict is rendered in the case. Bender wins ten thousand dollars for emotional damage. Mark is disappointed in the small amount of the verdict, and the judge seems nonplused. The judge, by the way, is Judge Walsh who has been the judge on almost every case Ally has tried this season. After the verdict, Brian and Ally go on a date to the bar. They are enjoying themselves and everyone thinks the two might click, but Mark observes them from a distance and is jealous. Finally, this week Nelle asks to be made partner. Richard explains to her, "Being generous doesn't earn respect, Nelle. People may smile and say 'thank you,' but underneath they're thinking 'sad.'" However, John is very angry and bitter towards Nelle and realizes that she has been stealing clients. Nelle considers starting her own firm and taking Ling with her, but Ling informs Nelle that she goes to work to be with the people at this law firm. "I'm rich. I just go to work to show off my outfits." Will Nelle start her own firm? Will John continue making nasty remarks at Nelle and get hit with a sexual harassment suit? Stay tuned.... QUOTE OF THE EPISODE: It's amazing I didn't lose my penis to frostbite. --John on his relationship with Nelle. NEXT WEEK: Nelle breaks away from the firm. Brian and Ally get serious. May 1, 2000 An episode of Ally that only a true fan of the show could fully experience, but because I am a true fan, I'll give this week 7 Flushes. We'll begin with the easy story and work up. Mark, John, and Ally are representing a woman named Lorna Flood. Lorna is charged with first degree murder for suffocating her husband with her breasts. Lorna is a young woman while her husband was 89 years old, and the prosecutor claims that Lorna purposefully smothered her husband's face in her breasts so that he would die. They say she tried so hard that he left bite marks in her breasts. Before the trial begins, Ally has an appointment. Today is her thirtieth birthday so Ally wants to get some plastic surgery. She wants to get her eyes fixed, but the surgeon recommends collagen in her lips. The surgeon happens to be the neurologist who was treating Billy...freaky, huh? Ally agrees to get the collagen and has it implanted immediately. However, too much is injected and her lips swell big time. She arrives in court with huge lips and is embarrassed so she goes to have her new lips removed. How does the Flood case turn out? Well, it turns out that Lorna got the bite marks earlier in the day from a man with whom she was having an affair. Due to this evidence and the lack of any other evidence that Lorna hurt her husband, the jury finds her not guilty. However, this case was more about seeing John and Mark work side-by-side. These two men will compete for Ally's attention in future episodes, but right now they are only trying to be polite towards each other. Mark constantly messes up John's name (he calls him Cracker instead of Biscuit and Jim instead of John) and John stutters around Mark, but the two appear polite. Anyway, today is Ally's thirtieth birthday and Elaine is throwing a party down at the bar. She convinces Fish to pay for the party by saying, "Her [Ally's] dream is to have the whole world revolve around her. For one day we should be able to fake it." Elaine tries to get everybody to sing, but no one wants to. She asks John, but he says no. Elaine reminds John that Ally is his best friend and that he was a wimp before he met her. Elaine next turns to Renee, and asks Renee to do a duet, but Renee fears that Elaine will steal the show from Renee. Nonetheless, she agrees. Also, Fish tells Mark that he has to sing for Ally, because his name was drawn from a hat. Ally catches Mark practicing his song and says that Fish was playing a joke on Mark as an initiation game. Mark asks if anyone at the firm likes him. She says that it will take time for him to be accepted. Before the party begins, Ally needs to have a life lesson. She goes to church (the same church she always goes to where the choir leader, Lisa, is played by Jennifer Holiday) and asks Mark the minister to help her find G-d. He says that she cannot look to G-d to fill the void in her life now that she lacks a man. Lisa confirms this. Ally then sees Billy's ghost and gets depressed. She says "My 20s may be the best years of my life, and I have nothing to show for them." Billy allows this statement to stand uncontested. We now go to the party. Elaine and Renee do their piece and get in a big fight during the song, because they both try to take center stage. The fight was quite amusing considering the fact that Renee looks like she is still in drug rehab. After this song, John goes up and says that he wants to sing a song, because Ally means so much to him. He sings "Till There Was You" and we all get weepy eyed as does Ally, because we realize how perfect John and Ally are for each other. After the party, Ally sees Billy's ghost again, but now Ally realizes that she is not alone and that she does have friends. Yeah, Ally! You may be 30, but you still might find a man. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE: Sometimes you just hot to sit back, and let the world be a party. --Lisa NEXT WEEK: Ally tries cybersex. April April 24, 2000 Rerun. April 17, 2000 I'm really not sure what I think about this 7 Flush episode of Ally. I'll begin with the beginning. Ally's alarm clock goes off, and we hear the lyrics to a song: "here's a picture of the boy next door" which is an obvious reminder of Billy. Ally then changes the radio station and hears "At first I was afraid I was petrified, kept thinking I could never live without you by my side." As it turns out, Ally is fantasizing that Gloria Gaynor is in her bedroom singing to her. I'll note here that in "scenes from last week," Billy compared his own hallucinations to Ally's and that Ally may be losing her self of sense. As a matter of fact at one point in the episode, somebody asks Ally if maybe she is developing her own brain tumor...they're not contagious are they? Anyway, Ally rushes to work and rushes away from Gloria who follows Ally through the streets. Gloria continues to pop up throughout the show, although I hold that she plays no real role this week. She does, however, have a real-life appearance at the end of the episode when she plays at the bar. OK, so Ally shows up at work and meets Billy's replacement Mark Albert (played by James LeGros). I really do not like the looks of Mark: he's just not nice to look at. Fish says that the firm needs a new lawyer, because when someone loses a dog (Billy), they need a new one (Mark). Nelle questions Mark being hired. She asks Fish why Mark would agree to work at this law firm. He is an established criminal defense attorney who does not need the firm. Nelle asks whether or not Mark is a partner and then she reminds Fish that when he hired her that he promised that she would be the first associate to be made partner. Keep in mind, this week Nelle steals one of Ally's clients behind Ally's back. Nelle is definitely planning a takeover of sorts. As for adding a new partner, Ally asks what John thinks about Mark. Fish says that John is off in New Hampshire either recovering from Billy's death or being dumped by Nelle, he doesn't know which. Maybe John'll come back and hook up with Ally now that John doesn't have Nelle and Ally doesn't have Billy. Finally we get to story proper. Ally and Ling are representing Nora Mills. Nora has been accused of first degree murder for killing her husband. (Remember when criminals gave Ally the "ick"?) Billy was supposed to be the lead attorney, but his death means that Mark will join the team; however, he will be third chair. Ally does not like working with Mark and she really hates him. Nonetheless, Ally argues that Nora killed her husband out of temporary insanity. She caught his wife having an affair and was so shocked that she picked up his prosthetic leg and beat him up until he fell down a flight of stairs and broke his neck. During one courtroom scene, Ally passes out and is taken to the hospital. Apparently, she is going through some kind of trauma but will be fine. While she's in the hospital, Mark visits (where's Ally's real support system of Renee and Dr. Tracey, or even John...heck, Georgia should be here) and says that he thinks Ally and he have a chemistry and that Ally hates him as a result. Anyway, I don't really know what I'm typing at this point, so Mark gives a closing argument and says that Nora went into shock after seeing the love of her life cheating on her. He tells the jury to imagine Nora's pain and then pontificates on love: "That is the thing about great loves. We think they're immortal. They can live forever. Even if the people involved don't." I have no idea what this closing has to do with Nora's case, but it does involve Ally. Ally realizes that she did love Billy. Mark tells Ally that she can choose to remember Billy however she wants...she does not have to remember the irresponsible and sexist Billy or even the married Billy; she can cling to the fact that she and Billy may have gotten back together and remember that. Towards the end of the episode, Billy appears as a ghost, and he tells Ally that it is OK for her to love again and that Ally should live her life. He says: "Just remember me every now and again. That'll be enough." By the way, Billy the Ghost has brown hair, not platinum. At the end of the episode, Ally goes to the bar, sees Gloria Gaynor, goes home, and has memories of Billy. The show aired a best of clips with love scenes between Ally and Billy, yet they failed to show Ally sniffing Billy's butt even though we all know that this is what their relationship was all about. OK, now for some Mark news. His eccentricity is teeth cleaning. He has a dental set up in his office so that a hygienist can come and clean his teeth three times a week. He also has a "pretrial anthem" which he plays to fill himself up with music before trial. The anthem is Queen's "We Will Rock You." Mark likes to go into court with "a theme song and fresh breath" (note the fresh breath and clean teeth parallel to Billy who was friends with the judge that was obsessed over clean teeth). In the beginning of the episode, Ally bad mouths Mark to Fish in the unisex. Fish says to Ally, "You've worked here long enough to know that when you say something negative about a person in this room, he's here." And sure enough Mark is in the bathroom. Mark then tries to befriend Ally by telling her that people used to call him Ally. It derived as a nickname of his last name "Albert." Ally is not amused, and truth be told neither was I. This episode had no real content. Come on, let's pick up the pace. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE: Nobody likes you yet. --Ling to Mark, and isn't Ling the one who should be giving such advice. NEXT WEEK: Rerun. April 10, 2000 Rerun. April 3, 2000 Rerun.