| BDSM - 101 |
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| ‘Scene’ or ‘play’ – the duration of an activity centering around BDSM between two or more people. Safeword – a word or phrase used to stop an activity. Dominant – the person in charge: Dom, Domme (female), Master, Sir, Mistress, Domina (female), Daddy, Mommy, Lady, Lord etc… Submissive – the other person: sub, subbie, slave, pet, little one, etc. You will also hear the words Top and Bottom used. Simply put: If you’re being spanked you’re the bottom and you are bottoming, if you’re spanking you’re the Top and you are topping. Usually these terms are used when people are not really employing domination. One person wants to do a BDSM activity, and asks someone to ‘top’ them, or to ‘bottom’ for them. Sex may or not be included in their ‘scene’ (activity). They agree to ‘play’, (have their scene), and then it’s over. An example is if a friend asks if he can spank me at a ‘play party’. I say yes. He spanks me until either one of us feels ready to stop and that is the end. There were no other elements of domination in that scene. He does not order me around, or take any other control of me. In other words he didn’t dominate me, so he is not dominating (or domming), he is simply topping (giving). I did not submit my control to him so I am not really subbing or being submissive. I am simply bottoming (receiving). Sadist – person who enjoys inflicting pain WITHIN agreed-upon limits, for the pleasure of themselves AND their partner. Masochist – person who enjoys having pain inflicted upon them WITHIN set and agreed upon limits. (Hitting one’s thumb accidentally with a hammer rarely results in orgasm, regardless of what some people believe masochism to be) |
| BDSM - 101 |
| First off, let me give you a quick rundown on the terms. You should check out an online 'Deviant's Dictionary' later which has all the terminology but too much all at one is not helpful, right? BDSM - stands for: Bondage (tie me up) Discipline (spank me, make me sit on the floor - type activites...etc.) Domination + Submission (order me around sexually or non-sexually, one person in control – type activities) Sadomasochism (hurt me physically) You can see that these things are a bit different but overlap. Not everybody is into all of it, occasionally people like only one thing (spanking as part of foreplay, or bondage, for example but are not into anything else). Because people are usually not so simple however, they threw it all together under one heading to make things easier. |
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| Here's a little primer on BDSM: |