BDSM - 101
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BDSM - 101
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In S/m activities the pain involved always stays within safety limits and the personal tolerance limits of the masochist. The pleasure derived is usually erotic in nature BUT may or may not lead to sex/orgasm. For some it is simply an emotional release, a stress release, or a tolerance test that makes them feel strong. For others it is simply erotic.
Pain releases endorphins and adrenaline and when done right gives you a high similar to what an athlete experiences when pushing themselves.

Pain and Domination may be either physical or mental. It is NOT meant to be emotional. While a Sadist/Dom may ‘scare’ the masochist/sub with words and mind games they are careful not to do or say anything that will emotionally damage the person. Some people enjoy verbal humiliation such as being called a ‘nasty slut’, others will get their feelings hurt. ‘You F***ing Bitch’ may be a turn on, whereas ‘stupid’ might be terribly harmful. It’s an individual thing.
It is the job of both parties to talk about these things and agree BEFORE doing an activity whenever possible so that these limits are not crossed.
Limits

In general limits are set by the submissive/bottom partner and respected as LAW by the Dominant/Top. The line between BDSM and rape is consensuality. The bottom must consent to any activity or it is NOT done. The Top must consent as well, of course.
However, a Top also takes responsibility for not stepping over their own limits as well. A Top who does not know how to use a whip should not consent to whip anyone. Even if begged.
As well, a Top will stop any activity if they feel the bottom has had enough, whether or not a bottom agrees. Bottoms are often in a state where they are not the best judges and will take more than they should. Numbness, sub-space, even stubbornness can impair a bottom’s judgment. Sub-space is an expression used for when a person is feeling an adrenaline rush and may appear drunk or drugged. The Top is responsible for taking care of the bottom in this state.