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BDSM - 101

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Dominance and submission- D/s

The sub may told to strip and kneel, perhaps for collaring. The sub now knows that she is expected to obey all his commands or possibly face punishment. The Dom may order the sub to kiss his feet, perform oral sex, or just kiss him affectionately.
For the duration of the scene the Dom may tease and torment the sub with nipple clamps, spankings, bondage, mental descriptions of how he can do anything he wants to her because she is his slut, toy, pet, slave…etc. Or their interactions may be more gentle, even non-sexual.
He may order her to draw a bath and wash him, or serve him tea. He may order her to kneel at his feet while he eats. All these things are D/s behaviours.
He may drip wax from a candle onto his sub or gag her.
Anything the sub finds upsetting to a degree that her emotional state is at risk will NOT be done. Dom and sub must know each other extremely well. They must communicate honestly and often.
Safewords are established and used so that the sub may stop everything if emotional discomfort arises or is she feels she is at harm (too tightly bound, a cramp etc.) The Dom is required to honour and to react to this safeword. Kindly and with concern. Impatience or anger is bad form!
The couple will usually discuss what happened and decide whether to try again, to continue after fixing the problem, or to abort and go cuddle/watch TV/go to sleep.
Usually the activities are meant to arouse the sub to a highly charged sexual state which the Dom may or may not take advantage of - for both their pleasure. But for some, just submitting to their Dom is highly pleasurable and sex may not enter into every D/s scene.

Doms enjoy the rush of power they get from having such access to the mind and body of a partner. Knowing that their partner trusts them to this degree, and from knowing that they are bringing their partner great pleasure.
Subs derive great pleasure from the freedom of having to make decisions, of having to act of their own will. They are acted upon in ways that are usually highly pleasurable. They also derive joy from expressing their love or affection by filling their partner’s every wish.
It’s a complicated and fascinating thing.
D/s activities range from very soft, seductive and subtle to what might look like rape. This will depend on the fantasies of the couple and may differ from time to time depending on mood.
The key is that one party appears to call all the shots while the other appears to be helpless.
Appearances are deceiving.
Submissives submit only under conditions that are acceptable to them. In reality they have final say. Submitting to someone is equated with giving them a huge gift of your trust and confidence in them. Doms recognize this gift and generally feel very honoured by it.
Subs feel that by accepting this gift the Dom is saying they find them highly desirable to the point of wanting to take possession.
Doms feel that by being offered this gift the sub is saying they are trustworthy and desirable.
It can be a wonderful ego stroke for both parties.