Voices (Part 2)
*Dream Sequence*
I lay in an abandoned field, staring up at the bright silver disc of the moon, a pearl against an endless velvet sky studded with diamonds. Ah, but the only real jewel is what I hold in my arms. My princess lays in my chest, asleep, and I feel that tide of bliss and happiness I've only just discovered since Dru came into my life, what's left of it, anyway.
Yes, I admit the demon inside me has not consumed all of my humanity. Even worse, what's left of my soul is the one thing I cherish. Drusilla is the only thing I have ever loved. Even as a human my heart was cold and unfeeling. But ever since I met her my entire world has changed. And that's not just with becoming a demon. I was no longer William the Bloody or even Spike, but Spike and Drusilla.
Her suffering is mine. Angelus' torture and constant abuse of her slowly drove her to insanity's wild embrace. What once was a strong, God-fearing young woman was now a creature of the night, a fragile rose, ripped and shredded by Angelus' thorns, both holding her up and dragging her down. Everyday before going to sleep I cursed my sire for causing her so much pain. Finally my wishes came true and he was cursed, with a soul of all things, and Dru was finally mine.
Sometimes I worry about he control she has over me. I'd do anything at her whim. It sometimes scares me how I need her so much. And it's then I realize how deep my feelings for her run. Sure she controls me like nothing else, but do I really hate needing her? Holding her in my arms like this and knowing she belongs to me and I to her is the best feeling in the universe. Better than blood, better than becoming the leader of many other vampires, better even, than bagging a Slayer. Dru is my world and I want, no I *need*, to keep it that way.
The sky grows darker and darker, embracing the two of us as if we were floating. And then...nothing.
***
"Take them all. Save the Slayer for me," says a vampire who, to my amazement, I recognize as myself.
My minions scramble down the stairs to the pathetic little humans below and begin feeding. Yes, I remember this. This is when the Slayer crashed our little feasting party. Curious, I watch myself
almost automatically grab a snack of my own.
"Spike!"
I look towards the familiar voice and see Dru, held against the origin of the voice, a stake pressed to her heart. She calls out my name fearfully, her voice full of terror mixed with a child's innocent trust. I freeze.
Only this time, it isn't the Slayer who threatens her life after death. I strain to recognize the face. That dark hair, that intense gaze, that secretive smirk. How could I not recognize the
figure in the first place? My tone full of contempt, I whisper the hated name of Dru's captor.
"Angelus."
*End Dream Sequence*
And then it all disappears. My minions, Angelus, Dru, even the replica of myself. All that fills my mind is the gentle voice of my princess, singing something unintelligible. Even so keep my eyes closed, enjoying the sound of her voice. Finally the urge to gaze upon her is so strong I force my eyes to open, squinting a bit at the light.
Dru is kneeling in front of that cursed chair of mine, facing the window, staring at it, as if she could see through the heavy drapes at the rain falling. I swear silently, cursing my useless legs,and then focus my attention on the beautiful vision before me.
Her silky dark hair cascades over her smooth shoulders down her back. I remembered back to before Angelus returned, before I got stuck in this bloody chair, where I could be perfectly content
just running my fingers through that lovely hair. Not now, though. Only Angelus touches her like that now.
Shaking, I reach out an place a hand on her bare shoulder where the collar of the robe she's wearing meets her skin, reveling in the tingle it sends up my arm, throughout my whole body. Even after over 150 years, nobody can make me feel the way Dru does. Nobody.
She turns, startled. Looking down, embarrased, I can see a hint of a blush coloring her usually milky white cheeks. My hands move to where her jaw meets her neck. Carefully, I lift her head up so
she's looking at me, her beautiful face staring into mine, staring me straight in the eye. I return the stare.
Looking into those dark pools, I see confusion, as if she were pondering something. Of course, my Dru is always pondering something or another, whether it be the song the stars sing or why water is wet. I've become used to it and don't mind too much when she goes into a trance or starts babbling about her hair falling out or dead daises. Angelus is a different story when it comes to Dru's childlike behavior.
Angelus. When he's not trying to seduce Dru, he's beating her. I feel my teeth clench. How can Dru keep going back to him? What kind of false love is this that makes her keep returning to his arms despite all it's doing to her? If only it were me again. I never treated her with hate or ownership. Just simple affection and love.
I really do love her, I realize for probably the millionth time. I love her smile, which makes all the hardships I've endured, all the misery I've been through on her behalf, worth it. I love her eyes, those dark, mesmerizing, hypnotizing eyes that I can get lost in for hours. I love her childlike innocence, an innocence I feel is my duty to protect, an innocence that is both sweet and seductive at the same time. Yes, I love every part of my princess, "eyeballs to entrails" as I once put it, if I remember correctly.
Her mouth is open, her lips soft and inviting. Not being able to resist, I lean down to kiss her. She pulls away, fear and worry reflecting in those lovely eyes. I pull away as well, sitting up and leaning my head against the back of the cursed chair.
Pain. My world is nothing but pain and anguish at the realization it wasn't always like this. Before her dear Daddy returned Dru used to think I could take on the entire world with one hand tied behind my back.
"You'll make it right, I know."
Her words echo in my mind. When she actually said them I took it for granted, as the simple trust a child has for whoever was lucky enough to be called her "hero". And I was right, I just didn't realize just how lucky I was at that moment. Too late now. Now that Angelus is back I'm not longer the hero. Why take Robin when you could have Batman? Or Tonto when you could have the Lone Ranger? Why take Spike when you could have Angel?
Dru is shivering. Instantly all other emotions flee to be replaced with worry and concern for my princess. I can't stand to have her uncomfortable. Especially when I might be able to do something about it.
"Are you cold, pet?" I ask, my voice remarkably steady considering all my worries.
She nods but doesn't look at me. I quickly move to get my jacket off, struggling a bit with the chair. I finally get it free and place it over my beloved's shoulders. She looks up at me and I can see a wisp of that old, trusting, innocent smile she used to give me all the time before our sire's return. Yawning, she lays her head on my lap, falling asleep almost instantly.
I can barely contain my joy. At least for one moment, the old Dru is back as if Angelus had never come. She was all mine, and I didn't have to share with anyone, especially my sire. I stroke her lovely hair and whisper how much I love her, how glad I am to have her to myself again. And just for a minute, things are back the way they should be.
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