As October comes around, feelings of terror fresh in my mind
The memories of when my life was in a life-threatening bind
Sleepless nights and nightmares too, flashbacks of a different kind
Painful recollections of that hot October day when I suddenly put my
life on the line
Continues to reflect the dark shadows of my past
Trapped in an open field, unarmed, out numbered three to one
Startled and staring down the steel barrel of a loaded gun
Physically tortured and mentally abused to increase their twisted sense of fun
In total despair, I knew that this evil man's will would soon be done
Continues to reflect the dark shadows of my past
The scenes of rage, numbing pain, screaming voices are echoes I vividly recall
Embedded deep in my memory are the unhealed scars that I have carried
since mid Fall
Their screaming voices I hear clearly, laughing, jeering and taunting
me
Kicking, beating, flogging and stomping me, a brutal act done by all
three
Continues to reflect the dark shadows of my past
Images of my gun jammed into the side of my head
My precious life hanging by a thread
Silently saying good-bye to my wife and daughters too, I do dread
Hearing the clicking trigger, I knew in seconds that I would be dead
Continues to reflect the dark shadows of my past
Dragged out of the field by the depraved three
Thrown hard up against a fence next to a tree
Handcuffed and exposed, put on display for the public to see
Caged like a cowed animal never to be free
Continues to reflect dark shadows of my past
Still alive, bruised, dazed and confused, but no time to rest
I know to survive this horrid ordeal, I've got to give it my best
In my mind, I grasped a glimmer of a flickering light
God's message perceived telling me to renew my survival fight
Behold! There is God's shining light reassuring me that I am all right.
Free at last delivered from my captor's hand
I envisioned only one set of foot prints in the sand
Surviving was God's miracle indeed!
For me, there must be a divine plan.
Yes ! Establishing a ministry to help victims across our land.
Periods of depression, irritability, anger, rage and lots of fears
Down a narrow path, alone, I walk with no friends at my rear
But God following close behind shedding lots of tears
Feelings of hopelessness that rips out my heart
Like a seasoned sprinter who has lost the will to start
Nobody really knows,nobody sees a difference inside of me
Haunting memories, reminds me that I will never be free
Now forced to live my life in lies behind a darkened mask
mentally and emotionally paralyzed, unable to perform the simplest of
task
Not a husband or a father, not even a good provider brings back dark
shadows of my past
With new direction, a renewed hope and Another Day
Supporting, caring and being with other victims is my daily play
Making a retreat center, a new facility where victims can stay
Building a self-help and spiritual program out of virgin clay
Creating for victims a new beginning from an old distressing way
Tearing down social barriers of many years of guilt and shame
Today's victims of trauma no longer accepting the blame
All different types of victims united together to build a positive name
Changes the way our society has to play the game
Presently, not one but two distinct foot prints in the sand
God walking together with many victims hand in hand
Strong public support is a necessary part of our plan
Ready to work together establishing
Victims-N-Crises Retreat Centers
across our land
Victims of trauma traveling a far or near
Ready to find relief from depression, anger and fear
Seeking healing from the Lord versus man
Memories now calm and still, the lord doing his task
No longer traumatized by dark shadows of my past.
Copyright © 1988-2002, Joseph L. Fuller
