Blackadder II
Starring Rowan Atkinson as Lord Blackadder
with Tony Robinson as Baldrick
Tim McInnerny as Lord Percy
Miranda Richardson as Queenie
Stephen Fry as Lord Melchett
and Patsy Byrne as Nursie
Music by Howard Goodall
Written by Richard Curtis and Ben Elton
Directed by Mandie Fletcher
Produced by John Lloyd
England 1558-1603. The nasty genes of the Blackadder dynasty bubble
back to the surface of history as Lord Edmund swaggers around town with
a big head and small beard in search of grace and favor from the stark,
raving mad Queen Bess. Accompanied by a small rabble of riff-raff,
the blackhearted Baldrick and the pea-brained Percy, the dastardly Lord
Blackadder tarnishes the reputation of England's Golden Age.
Episode 1: Bells
Served by a dumbbell in a dress and accompanied by
a bird-brained dimwit, Edmund, the great, great grandson of the repulsive
original is reasonably normal - until he meets Bob. Co-starring
Rik Mayall as Lord Flasheart
Lord Flasheart tweaked the Adders beard
From now he always shall be single
To fall in lovre with boys is weird
Especially boys without a dingle
Black Adder, Black Adder
His taste Is rather odd
Black Adder, Black Adder
The randy little sod
Lord Flasheart, Lord Flasheart
I wish you were the star
Lord Flasheart, Lord Flasheart
You're sexier by far
Episode 2:
Head
Edmund, newly-appointed Minister in charge of Religious
Genocide and Lord High Executioner finds himself in a wee bit of trouble
when he completely ruins Lord Farrow's weekend by cutting off his head.
His great grandfather was a king
Although for only thirty seconds
When put in charge of beheading
He felt that fame and glory beckoned
Black Adder, Black Adder
No such blooming luck
Black Adder, Black Adder
Elizabethan schmuck
Black Adder, Black Adder
Nothing goes as planned
Black Adder, Black Adder
Life deals him a bum hand
Episode 3:
Potato
Blackadder sets on a quest for new potatoes and to
boldly go where Sir Walter "rather-a-wimp" Raleigh has already gone before.
Co-starring Tom Baker as Captain Redbeard
Sir Francis and Sir Walter had
Discovered new worlds and new nations
And though Black Adder thought them mad
He tried his hand at navigation
Black Adder, Black Adder
He saw the ocean's foam
Black Adder, Black Adder
He should have stayed at home
Black Adder, Black Adder
He heard the new world's call
Black Adder, Black Adder
Discovered bugger-all
Episode 4:
Money
The clergy in Elizabethan times had some unpleasant
methods of chastising their flocks. Blackadder is visited by the baby eating
Bishop of Bath and Wells, the assistant manger of the Bank of the Black
Monks of St. Herod, who wants to collect on a debt of £1,000. Edmund
comes up with a plan "so cunning you could brush your teeth with it."
Take heed the moral of this tale
Be not a borrower or lender
And if your finances do fail
Make sure your banker's not a bender
Black Adder, Black Adder
He trusted in the Church
Black Adder, Black Adder
It left him in the lurch
Black Adder, Black Adder
His life was almost done
Black Adder, Black Adder
Who gives a toss? No one!
Episode 5:
Beer
Edmund hosts his pious aunt and uncle, the Whiteadders,
who are the "two most fanatical puritans in England," at dinner. Percy
and Baldrick prepare turnip surprise for dinner. Through an unfortunate
lapse of memory, Edmund must simultaneously hold a drinking competition
with Lord Melchett. Let one under the table gets 10,000 florins from the
loser. This episode is not seen in some airings presumably because of the
appearance of "comedy" breasts and a turnip that's in Percy's words, "
is exactly the same shape as a thingy."
Black Adder couldn't hold his beer
The art of boozing he's not mastered
And I, your merry balladeer
Am also well and truly plastered
Black Adder, Black Adder
A bit like Robin Hood
Black Adder, Black Adder
But nothing like as good
Black Adder, Black Adder
I thought that he had died
Black Adder, Black Adder
Our writers must have lied
Episode 6:
Chains
Kidnapping is rampant. After the Queen signs a proclamation
that only one more ransom will be paid "cross my heart and hope to be spanked
until my bottom goes purple'" Edmund and Melchett are captured by a German
who plans to overthrow the English throne and who happens to be a master
of disguise. And who happens to be an embarrassing part of almost everyone's
pasts. The queen can't decide who to save and spends the ransom money on
a fancy dress ball at the palace. Blackadder and Melchett escape just in
time to attend their final social engagement In 1566.
Beware all ye who lust for fame
The path of life is most uncertain
Prince Ludwig thought he'd won the game
But now the Kraut's gone for a burton
Blackadder, Blackadder
He beat the Hun by luck
Black Adder, Black Adder
He's smarter than a duck
Lord Melchett, Lord Melchett
Intelligent and deep
Lord Melchett, Lord Melchett
A shame about the sheep
© 1998 theblackadder2@oocities.com
This page hosted by
Get your own Free
Home Page