Keep your Cool!

 

 

Haven't we all had days when we are ready to pull our hairs totally exasperated at the situation at hand? Don't we all experience Monday morning blues? Do you buckle under pressure when the workload shoots up, when you are piled with one work after another, and each one demanding priority? You are ready to fly off the handle when your friend shows up late for the movie and you miss the beginning. You fret and fume, lose your cool and the promise of a great evening goes down the lane.

The most important factor during such situations is to keep your cool and shoot down that pressure pang that wells up in your stomach. Here's how

How our bodies deal with stress

A complex part of our brains and body called the autonomic nervous system helps us to deal with life-threatening situations. Lets take a look at some of the responses given by our autonomic nervous system. You'll have noticed these responses all the time.

Don’t you tend to breathe faster when faced with danger or when you are angry and ready to fight with someone? That's because you tend to breathe faster because your muscles need more oxygen. When you are facing some threat or you are frightened or livid about something don’t you feel butterflies in your stomach? That's because when faced with such situations the autonomic nervous system sees to it that the digestion is slowed down so that blood may be directed to the muscles and the brain. It's more important to be alert and strong in the face of danger than to digest food!!!
When do you feel when a car almost hit you on the road? You hear your heartbeat so loud that you suspect the person next to you will hear it too. This happens because your blood pressure rises forcing blood to those parts of the body that need it. Why do you think your muscles tense when you are ready for a duel - be it physical or verbal.

Watch your temper

Your own rigidity could be a major hassle. The way you react to simple situations often give rise to stress. If you are a stickler for time and say your friends don’t show up on time then you get worked up to such an extent that you spoil the evening for you and your friends. If you could tell yourself that such trivial issues are no big deal then you've saved the day.

If the newspaper boy doesn’t show up on time and you don’t get the morning paper with your tea then you are bound to feel annoyed and spoil the entire morning. It could affect the way you work for the day too. So what could you do to overcome this? You could shrug it off, telling yourself that such things happen. The newspaper boy must be held up somewhere. You could switch on the telly and watch the news for a change or tell yourself that you can read it when you are back home in the evening.

Dealing with difficult people

You might be working with a boss who seems to be hell bent on making life difficult for you. How do you handle him? For starters tell yourself that not everyone has an understanding man/woman at the helm of affairs. Accepting this is half of the solution. This way you are less prone to being stressed out. Don't feel miserable when your boss unjustly screams at you. Tell yourself, "So what? He's stressed out just like I am; it's not personal."

What do you do when faced with a senior who turns a deaf ear to your efforts at communication? Your boss might not answer your e-mails about that pending project. You can't just sit back helplessly. How do you bell the cat? The best thing is to have a one-to-one conversation with the boss. Tell him, without sounding like you are protesting, that there are things that you need to bring to his attention and get feedback on. Ask him how he would like to deal with the issue. Try to focus on finding a solution rather than make it out to be a fault-finding mission. Most talks fail because the people involved talk about the problems instead of concentrating on finding a solution. Even after all your efforts to reach out to your boss, you still come up against a wall don’t feel defeated. You can be happy that you were not just sitting around. You tried all you could. Now it's upto the boss.

Do you experience goose bumps when you have to enter your bosses' cabin? You want to tell him that you feel that you are being given a raw deal. What if he thinks that you are such a pain for crying about it all the time? A feeling of disgust and misery at your situation begins to creep inside.

Banish such thoughts! Always remember that what counts is how you say it and not what you have to say. Think of what to say and how to say it properly, take a deep breath and walk in with a smile on your face. Leave all negative thoughts outside. Just say, "Sir, could you spare me a few minutes. I have some ideas that could increase my productivity at work. I feel that I am not utilised to my full potential and this frustrates me at times". You have said what you want without sounding like you are complaining. Your boss will be receptive to your feedback and will definitely help you.

If after all this you still cannot make your senior see reason, then what do you do? You look for another job not with the intention of leaving the present one but to give yourself that morale booster that you are staying in this job by choice.

Saying 'no' when you want to

There are times when you are piled with more work than you can handle. There is no one else who can do that work other than you so there is no question of asking someone else to do it. What do you do when your mind is screaming 'no' and you hear yourself saying, "Yes, it will be done". You are livid with yourself. This will only add to your problems. Instead of this, the best reaction would be to priorities the jobs at hand. Handle the urgent tasks first, then deal with the rest. Present this to whoever is concerned. Ask them if they think that it is an acceptable way to proceed. There you are. No one will push you into a crazy situation and you've comfortably said what you want without ruffling feathers.

Work smart not hard

Organize yourselves. Make it a habit to use a planner. Learn Time Management. That way you have all your deadlines, meetings, appointments etc. neatly charted before you. Do the tougher things first and do things that require less concentration or efforts when you are tired. Give yourself five-minute breaks in between. That way, nothing will get on your nerves.

Shrug off mindsets that pull you backwards instead of allowing you to progress. Throw laziness out of the window along with that feeling of being victimized or sidelined. Seeking others approval for everything is an invitation to trouble. You are bound to feel let-down or below par by someone all the time. Remember you cannot please everyone all the time.  Do not give yourself any opportunity to whine. Stay away from people who are always see the negative side of things.

Some easy techniques to quell the anger rising within you

Watch your breath. It’s an effective way to bring down your temper. When you are angry your breath tends to be heavy and laboured. Concentrate on your breathing. You will be surprised how it helps you get back to normal. Try it.

When the situation goes out of hand making you feel angry, scared, nervousness or agitated then walk out of the place. Staying in the same place will only aggravate the situation making you feel worse. Go into the open or open the windows and let the air hit your face. Move away from your immediate surroundings. Return only when you feel relaxed. 

You are faced with a terrible situation like being suspended or even being fired from your job then try not to panic. Being fired from the job gives you a feeling of worthlessness and insecurity which can torture you a great deal. Ask yourself what is the worst thing that can happen to you in the changed circumstances. Tell yourself that you can face these situations because it's not the end of the road. There will be other jobs and you were not fired because you were inept. Don’t let your self-esteem take a beating.

Keep telling yourself, 'I can do it'. Such thinking sends positive signals to your mind. Beat it in that every problem has a solution and that you can face it.

Spend time on yourself

Make it a habit to spend time on meditation every morning. Learn to take things easily. After a tough day you deserve rest. Unwind by doing the things that you enjoy. All this gives you peace of mind and you are ready to face the day with a smile.