-There I blow!!

                                            -It's toooo hot!!

                                            -Get out of town and take a bus!

                                            -Jiggly Puff!

                                            -Listen up!...Tall guy!   ;         

-...but, I did learn, that...bees put pollen in their legs.      

-Feeeheeeheeeheeeheeeheeed the doooooog!  Yeeeaah!!         

-You're crazy!!

-The cat!!!

-No I want my mommy!

-Move your head!!

-Don't ever touch me again!

-My pants metal.

-With the wig, you remind me of Julia.

-I'll get a harpoon! La la la la?

-If you call right now, we'll send you FREE, one of Ryan Stiles' shoes, which comfortably seats 4!       

-He was as tall as a pole and twice as thick.

-Silly Rabbi!

-That's my shirt, that's my shirt.

-What is it with you and the color blue??

-Hey!  You stop it Ryan!

-You do that again!...and you will see what happens.

-And if you call right now! .......it'll still take 4-6 weeks to get it.

-I am woman hear me roar!!

-Give me liberty!.......Or a bran muffin!

-Get my brown pants!

-This courtroom is a Mochrie!!

-I am not an animal!!

-Did somebody call for an above average bear?!

-I'm jiggy with it. 

-Quando quando quando!!!

-Dooot dooootle looo!!!  I HAVE NO HAIR!!!!

-EMPHASIZE...every OTHER word!!

-Where's the rest of the Village People?

-What's it with you and the pig analogies all the time?!

-Hey!  You're like a moth, and you're hyperactive.

-Get off my butt!!

-Where's all my Rogaine????

-I told you!  I'm a child of the streets!

-Niiiiyyyiiiiyyiiiyyyiiiiiyyyiiiiicccce pants!!!!!

-Guilty as charged.

-Oops!  Dropped the small cow, into the big cow...!

-I'm just talkin' metal.

-.................Action!!!

-What's with the smart mouth??

-That's ...un-.....holy!!

-Come back! ....teach me to sing like you!!

-Thank god you're here....breakdance kid!!

-You look like a big stick with a big nosse.

-...this next Marilyn Monroe hit, "GGallstones are a Girls Worst Friend"

-We'll return you to your movie, "Saaving Ryan's Privates" in just a moment....

-I'm gonna go fluff my Garfield, if ya knnow what I mean.

-Are you kidding? This costs next to nothing! But it's actually $25.94.

-We're going to the restaurant...going to the restaurant.....

-WHY ARE THERE SO MANY TREES IN THE JUNGLE??!!

-Yeah, what do you mean by that stick boy?

-I'm adorable.

-Call your next witness!!! ...and call your mother, she worries.

-Don't be sniffing there!

-My God!  All the crin flukes are gone!

-It all started with a badly timed bald joke!!

-As of right now, I'm rash free.

-Well you can't have static cling, the burnoose will stick to his.....thing.

-He had the kind of face only a mother could love. If that mother were blind in one eye, and had that sort of milky film over the other one. Ya..ya know? Ya know what I mean? Still, he was my identical twin, so I thought I'd better be nice to him.

-I could tell by his big doggy brown eyes that he had a secret. A secret he didn't want to share because you don't usually share secrets otherwise they aren't secrets anymore.... My head hurt.

-It all seemed too easy. Way too easy. That's when he did something totally unexpected. Something so crazy and wild it took me totally by surprise. Even though it was kind of funny, it was still really weird.

-Just the way it like it!

-Ah, I break me up.

-Oh, fiddley diddley don't!

-If you order right now, you'll get the entire cd set yesterday through a process we don't totally understand.

-Where did the donkeys go?

-I'm married.

-Hey, Ryan!  If Sting retired, would he change his name to Stung?

-The wall fell on Pipe-Cleaner man before he had a chance to react.

-This is the worst Pac-Man massacre I've ever seen!

-After the sleigh blew up this is all we could find of Santa.

-I'm really good at necking.

-Why can't we all just sing a rousing song of Kumbayah?

-My shorts are on fire.

-Nudity is where it’s at people.

-Oh, remember the alamode.

-We’ll be back to our nature documentary “Baggy, the anorexic elephant” in just a minute...

-Wives live longer than husbands because they’re not married to women.

-9 out of 10 Americans believe that, out of 10 people, 1 American will always disagree with the other 9.

-I won a duggie!

-Quasimodo, I could never love a man who played the tuba. My mother was killed in a tuba accident.

-Thou hast made me not able to blink!!

-I'M BOSLEY! HERE'S MY DRIVER'S LICENSE! SEE???

-Monkey monkey chew the butter.  See my buttocks they is better butter, buttoota, buttoota monkey monkey!  Look there's a gerbil, I'm going up and down.  Sixty minutes where are you?  Here's an expo date for you!  Libedy la libedy la libedy la......!!

-Do I go over to a house made of wood and start chewing on the side?! No! Because I know better!

-Bellbottoms, platform shoes, glitter, afros, but enough about Ryan.....  

-Throughout the ages Lifeguards have been sung about in song and in song because that’s the only way you can sing about them.

-Is God a fireman?!

-Tapioca! Tapioca!

-Hey, let's make fun of the bald guy!  I'll be your lightning rod of hate!

-Sorry, I’ve got my pants off, it’s hard to hear!!

-It’s so hard to keep up with a metal dreess on.

-Give it a squeeze and check it’s workingg!

-What a stupid crowd!

-I don’t know the science!!

-It’s such a happy saber!

-On my planet, all donkeys fly.

-Nothin’ better than that surfin’ in wheaat fields.

-Bathe the whales!!

-Back to you, ya dirty lousy punk!

-I’ve seen better film on my Grandmother’’s eye!

-...I was raised by wolves, and then I waas deposited in, uh, a small family of
weasels, and, uh, after that I was, uh, with two beavers and a platypus....it
was an ongoing thing.

-Very, VERY,  hush, hush.

-I'd like to meet someone outside the family.

-Every song a hit!  Every hit a smack!

-As long as there's been men in tight,...tights........Sorry, I was just picturing it.

-I've seen better character development on the Match Game!!

-It would have been better if your head burst into flames.

-You must dance for me while I name some vegetables.

-Today on celebrity phlegm...!!

-What's gonna happen today on 'Things Your Cat Can't Swallow'?!!

-Can we pick this up? I'm loosing a lot of blood.

-WHO'S HOLDING THE CAMERA??!!?!

-Let me tell ya what happened to me. ...As I entered matri-mony.  It didn't happen!  The girl that I loved just left. ........  It wouldn't bother me, ordinarily. But! ...La la la lee lee. ..... What can I do?? I'm so annoyed!  O-oyed! O-oyed!...

-WHAT THE-??.......OH MY!!......I CAN'T-!!!.......WHAT??!?.......HEY!!!!

-High-heel  high-heel  high-heel...

-This is what I have to deal with WEEK AFTER WEEK!!!!

-....Proud!! ...P-R-O-D!....Proud!!

-Hey! Why are you getting your nose hairs in a burning trajectory over Moscow??    

-Perhaps you've heard of me,....The Nozzle????

-Nobody likes, a double act!  Everyone likes the lone guy!!...

-Little toad man,...bent all hunched...looking for the world to see--...You have so much inner beauty-he-he......'Drew Carey makes me hot'......I'm sorry.........he does.....

-Oh I wouldn't want that on a plate!!

-Are you saying ‘double-breasted’ because I should be wearing some... ‘Milk Duds’ or something???
Because I happened to...weigh a little more  when I was younger and then lost some weight, that I’m a little stretchy in the nipple area and so that my breasts flap like to large windsocks flapping in the wind??...even though there’s no wind! ...and I should have something to keep my breasts in so they don’t burst out and poke peoples eyes out??!!!!  IS THAT WHAT YOU’RE TRYING TO SAY????!!!!

-Oh I know! I've seen you!!............Twice on Sundays!

-My God... your thighs are big!

-You seem really easy and willing to put out so role in the cream cheese roll in the cream cheese...

-...What will I staple together when I write my script???.......for Geppetto 2??? 

-Hey!  Ryan!  What's the matter???

-Oh look!  It's Crazy Ted!!

-Alone?  By yourself??

-You tolerate me!!  You REALLY REALLY tolerate me!!

-People don't kill people,  TREES kill people!!

-Don't ask me how!!  Just get me out of the mailbox!!!!

-Mmmmmmm!...That's nummy!

-They held that, “Ooooooo,” for 15 minutes... Beating the,...Beatles, ...“hmmmm.” at the end of...‘Day in a Life’, ...by...some time.

-Ok! Ok ok ok ok!

-........Howdy!

-Whoa!!!....Holy-.......-Sharp things!!

-This just in: 'Beverly Hills 90210, ...Cleveland Browns 3'.

-You know, ...I thought the Swiss Cheese came with holes.

-E...there is no E.  F!...Same as E.

-Am I scgeaking another language???

-I'll pick 'Whose head is a solar plate for a Love Machine' for $200.

-Have you seen my mother?

-PPPLLLEEAASSSE AACCCEPT My CONDOLENCES!!!!!!!!!

-If this were crap, you'd need a ladder to get that high!!

-Are you tired of people giving you bananas, ...... mistaking you for a chimp???

STRANGE WELCOME SIGNS AS YOU ENTER DIFFERENT U.S. STATES-  Welcome to Rhode Island..........  Thanks for Visiting Rhode Island.

-Anything for a laugh!

-Notice all the "melon" jokes and the "bald" jokes, I make one "nose" joke it's, "Ooooh!"

-Me-ow!

-Let me help you hit those high notes!  ...............Me-oooow!

-That was bad, that was really really bad!!  ....  That was my c"RAP"!

-It was like watching a frog be electrocuted!

-Big meatball!!!!!!!  ........'Raiders'!......  Here is comes again!!

-Oh you big....Poo-Head!!

-You know, as I recall, there may be a snippet.

-'Cuse me!!  There's a hole in my floor that leads to the outside....!!

-I'll tell you what you look like!!  A big stick with a big nose!!

-And who can forget that great boogie woogie motorcycle hit:  'Alabama Motorcycle Mama With a Llama!'

-How many Smurfs did you have to step on to get those??

-Oh no!  They've got...Confusion Gas!!....  Oh, love monkey, monkey, gnu!!

-...And no icing if you know what I mean!

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