Part One
JD:
Wonder what could be taking so long?
VIN:
Judge's gotta make sure he's hangin' the right man.
CASEY:
Looks like Pud Garber's in for some throat trouble.
JD:
That man's as guilty as the devil himself.
CASEY:
Wanna watch the hangin' with me?
JD:
A hangin' ain't no place to take a girl.
CASEY:
Where do you take a girl?
JD:
I don't know, uh... a haystack maybe.
CASEY:
I'd rather go to a hangin'.
JUDGE TRAVIS:
Garber, there's still time. You don't have to hang if you tell us where Del Spivak's gang is.
GARBER:
Ol' Del's sure got you hot and bothered, don't he, Judge?
JUDGE TRAVIS:
Look, you piece of dirt, my friend was killed in that stagecoach robbery, and somebody's gonna pay for it.
GARBER:
Take an IOU?
CHRIS:
Get down!
VIN:
Get outta the way!
MAN:
Come on, Kirkland!
[horse neighs]
MAN:
Let's ride, Garber! Here's your gun. Take it!
CHRIS:
JD, on your left!
[gunshot]
MATTIE:
We got this one, Katie.
KATE:
Yeah, we got him in the side.
CHRIS:
Who the hell are they?
JUDGE:
I don't know. Whoever they are, they can shoot.
NATHAN:
Vin!
VIN:
I'm busted up good, Nathan. Aah!
NATHAN:
Probably a couple of cracked ribs.
VIN:
I reckon.
NATHAN:
Ok, easy, easy.
JD:
You all right, Vin?
VIN:
Never better.
JD:
I'm going after 'em.
NATHAN:
Make sure he don't fall off his horse.
MATTIE:
Look at that. Clean through his flank, just like you said.
KATE:
Name's Kate Stokes. My sister Mattie.
JUDGE TRAVIS:
Name's Judge Travis.
KATE:
We're bounty hunters. That's our bullet in him. The bounty's ours, too. Worth 100 alive.
BUCK:
Looks deader than a beaver hat to me.
MATTIE:
If I wanted him dead, he'd be dead.
NATHAN:
He'll live.
MATTIE:
Told ya.
JUDGE TRAVIS:
Who is he?
KATE:
Del Spivak's scout. Name's Kirkland.
BUCK:
If you don't mind me asking, bounty hunting... It seems like dangerous work for such 2 such lovely young ladies as yourself.
KATE:
We thought about being wives and mothers, but half of them get beat, and the other half die in childbirth. Figured bounty huntin' was safer.
MATTIE:
Y'all got a saloon in this here cow town?
KATE:
You stay out of trouble, you hear?
MATTIE:
Don't I always?
KATE:
So I wanna question Kirkland.
JUDGE TRAVIS:
We'll take care of this. Maybe he'll help us find Spivak.
KATE:
Kirkland's mine. So is Spivak.
CHRIS:
I said we'll take care of it. You'll get your money.
BUCK:
You know it might not be a bad idea to let her have a go at it. I mean, I know I'd like to talk to a lady more than I would you any day, so no offense.
JUDGE TRAVIS:
Maybe you got a point, Buck. We'll come and find you as soon as he's conscious.
KATE:
You do that.
CHRIS:
A lady? I wonder.
BUCK:
I'll let you know.
MATTIE:
You ain't bad-looking.
JOSIAH:
Guess I'll take that as a compliment.
MATTIE:
You like drinking alone?
JOSIAH:
Just me and my 3 friends-- Father, Son, and the Holy Ghost.
MATTIE:
You're a preacher.
JOSIAH:
Not anymore.
MATTIE:
Once a preacher, always a preacher. Well, you stay the hell away from me. You preachers are bad luck.
EZRA:
Our own Mr. Dunne is imbued with far too much zeal. That boy would have rode all the way to Bolivia if I'd let him. Thank you.
JOSIAH:
I take it you lost 'em.
EZRA:
Indeed. When they reached the river. Rather clever for miscreants. Well, well. You must be one of the lovely bounty hunters I've been hearing so much about. You two certainly have this little town all abuzz.
MATTIE:
What do you want?
EZRA:
Well, it's not what I want that should interest you, but what I have to offer. You see, with your skill and my business acumen, well, my dear, I could make you famous.
MATTIE:
Or I could make you dead.
EZRA:
And so charming, too.
JD:
Josiah. I heard there's 2 bounty hunters in town. Supposedly they're ladies?
JOSIAH:
Imagine that.
JD:
Strange, huh? Hello.
MATTIE:
You'll do just fine.
EZRA:
What just happened there?
KATE:
Thanks.
BUCK:
That fancy red hat there, now, that would real pretty on you.
KATE:
Yeah. This cigar will taste better.
BUCK:
You know, you 2 ladies going after Del Spivak's gang alone... just sounds like a bad idea.
KATE:
Yeah, 'cause girls are too weak, right?
BUCK:
No, I didn't say that.
KATE:
Didn't have to. I know exactly what you think of women.
BUCK:
Oh, then why don't you tell me what it is that I think of women?
KATE:
All right. You like to have us around well enough. Look at, touch, keep you warm at night. Or to kick at when you're mad. Laugh at when we cry. You like it when we cry, don't you? Makes you feel strong.
BUCK:
You know... I do like to look at women. I can't deny it. I like to touch 'em, too. I love the shape and the smell of 'em... and the way their minds work. I mean... sometimes it just surprises the socks right off of me. If I could spend the rest of my life just tryin' to figure out how to make them happy... that would be a good life, indeed. That's the truth. Ma'am.
JD:
Miss, I'm really not sure that we should be doing this.
MATTIE:
Why? What's the matter, you got a disease or something?
JD:
No, not a disease. It's just that I, uh, well, you see, I kinda, I kinda got a girl.
MATTIE:
Kinda? Well, you don't seem too convinced about it.
JD:
No, it just don't feel right because we don't hardly know each other.
MATTIE:
Look, are you a man or not?
JD:
Yes.
MATTIE:
Yes. Well, then stop talking about all those other girls, and start kissing this one.
JD:
You know, uh... uh, so where you from?
MATTIE:
What does it matter?
JD:
It's just that I know girls like to talk, and I figured that if we talked for a while--
MATTIE:
I don't.
NATHAN:
Now, Vin, you're gonna have to take it real easy for a while.
VIN:
Got no plans to do any bronco bustin'
KATE:
Kirkland awake?
NATHAN:
You got a one-track mind, don't you?
KATE:
Judge said I could question him.
NATHAN:
Fine. I just gotta take Vin downstairs.
KATE:
Oh, I can handle Kirkland myself.
NATHAN:
If you wait, I'll be back in a minute, Ma'am.
VIN:
The girl's as gritty as eggs rolled in sand.
KIRKLAND:
Oh! Aah! What the hell are you doing here? Where's that colored doctor?
KATE:
He's tendin' someone who's worth a damn.
KIRKLAND:
Well, is Mattie with you?
KATE:
Oh, she's coming to talk to you next. Why don't you save her the trip? Start talkin'. Where's Del?
KIRKLAND:
Forget it. Ain't nothing you can do to me, Del can't do 5 times worse.
KATE:
Yeah?
KIRKLAND:
Ow! Oh! Ow!
KATE:
Men are such babies about pain.
CASEY:
Have you seen JD?
EZRA:
Hey, uh--
JOSIAH:
JD?
CASEY:
Yeah.
JOSIAH:
You mean, that little fella with the funny hat?
CASEY:
You know who I'm talking about. I heard he was hurt.
EZRA:
Oh, a mere bloody nose.
JOSIAH:
No.
JUDGE:
JD? I just saw him. He was heading toward the livery.
CASEY:
Thanks.
JUDGE TRAVIS:
What was this all about?
JOSIAH:
Just the end of innocence is all.
CASEY:
JD? JD?
JD:
Casey?
MATTIE:
Where you goin'?
JD:
Get away. It's not-- Casey, it didn't-- it didn't-- I mean, we-- oh, no, look what you've done now. Damn!
[ piano playing]
MAN:
What you got under them buckskins there, pretty lady?
KATE:
Hey! Hey! Hey! Mattie, I told you to stay out of trouble.
JUDGE TRAVIS:
Tough customers, those two.
BUCK:
Oh, I suspect there's something nice and warm 'neath it all.
CHRIS:
I wouldn't count on it.
BUCK:
And speakin' of the ladies... anyone else here worried about them goin' after Spivak's gang alone? Might get themselves killed.
JUDGE TRAVIS:
I think Buck's concerns are valid.
CHRIS:
Buck's only concern is gettin' in their britches.
BUCK:
Don't make no difference what brings on the idea. It's still a good one.
JUDGE TRAVIS:
2 people, men or women, can't take on Spivak's whole gang. And not a chance in hell I'm gonna let them get away again. I want Del Spivak caught and hanged.
[horse neighs]
MAN:
Hey, Bart.
DEL:
Did you bring back Garber?
BART:
Del... Garber's dead. We got outnumbered and-- and then Garber got shot.
DEL:
Garber was my best explosives man.
BART:
I know, Del, I know. But 'tweren't nothin' we could do about it. Ha ha. At least this way, we can split his share of the money, huh? Aah!
DEL:
Something to remember Garber by. Maybe somebody will remember you that way, too. If you're lucky. Where's Kirkland?
BART:
He got shot. He's probably dead, too. It was them 2 sisters, Del. They's the ones that shot him.
DEL:
So, she's coming after me, is she? Hmm. Ha ha ha. Well, now this could get interesting. Ha ha ha ha ha.
[horse neighs]
KATE:
Where are you goin'?
BUCK:
A little huntin' party with you, darlin'.
KATE:
I told you, Kirkland didn't say nothing about Del Spivak.
CHRIS:
Suit yourself. We'll just follow you.
KATE:
Just stay out of our way.
CHRIS:
Spivak came for Garber. He could come for Kirkland.
EZRA:
We're ready for him.
VIN:
Watch your back.
EZRA:
Come on, Vin.
MATTIE:
Hey, I gotta reset my saddle. How are we gonna shake them?
KATE:
Can't on the trail. We have to wait till we get there.
JD:
Mattie? Let me give you a hand with that.
MATTIE:
I got it, JD.
JD:
You know, uh, about earlier, I just wanted to let you know that I do have a girl--
MATTIE:
Hell, JD, you weren't that good.
JOSIAH:
You sure know how to sweet-talk a man.
MATTIE:
I told you to keep your bad luck away from me.
JOSIAH:
What makes you think I'm such bad luck anyway?
MATTIE:
Every time a preacher's around, somebody dies. Last preacher I let near me was standin' Over my mama's grave, and I will shoot you dead before I'll have you standing over mine. Yes, sir, you sure know how to sweet-talk a man.
CHRIS:
When we come up on Spivak, I want you and your sister to stay back.
MATTIE:
Why don't you?
KATE:
We can handle ourselves.
CHRIS:
Don't doubt it, but it ain't you I'm worried about.
BUCK:
Why don't you ease up on 'em?
CHRIS:
Buck, just 'cause they're women, that don't mean you can trust 'em.
JD:
Nervous? You don't have to worry about Spivak, you know. We'll see he meets his end on a rope.
MATTIE:
Don't talk about ropes, you understand me?
JOSIAH:
Preachers and ropes. Any other superstitions we oughta know about?
MATTIE:
Nope. Just don't like talkin' of hangin', is all.
YOSEMITE:
Howdy, Vin.
CASEY:
[sobbing]
VIN:
You all right, Casey?
CASEY:
What would a man want from a woman... who happens to be a female bounty hunter?
VIN:
Depends on the man.
CASEY:
What if this man is JD?
VIN:
Well... could have nothing to do with the lady bounty hunter at all. Could be he's just sowin' his wild oats.
CASEY:
Sowin' his oats?
VIN:
Right.
CASEY:
Sowin' his oats?!
VIN:
Oh, that-that's just a sayin'.
CASEY:
Well, guess what? I got oats, too.
VIN:
I'm sure you do.
CASEY:
Yeah! And you know what? I'm gonna sow some. Yeah, that's what I'm gonna do.
VIN:
Now--now--now hold on there, Casey--
CASEY:
Startin' right now. With you.
VIN:
With me?!
CASEY:
Yeah, go! Come on.
VIN:
No, no! No.
CASEY:
Fine. You ain't interested in my oats? I'll find someone who is.
VIN:
Casey. Aw, hell.
CASEY:
You sure look handsome today, Ezra.
EZRA:
Why, thank you, Casey.
CASEY:
Fact, I always thought you were the handsomest of all the 7.
EZRA:
And I always thought you were a very perceptive young lady.
CASEY:
Um, you think I'm pretty?
EZRA:
As a picture.
CASEY:
Good, 'cause I was wondering if you wanted to go to the livery stable with me, sow some wild oats.
EZRA:
Uh, my darling girl!
CASEY:
If you're worried about JD shootin' you or something, it doesn't matter. Him and me are through. Come on.
EZRA:
I- I- I'm, uh, sorry to hear that, but, unfortunately, that does not relieve me of my obligation.
CASEY:
What obligation?
EZRA:
To the, uh, the--the... the brotherhood... of man. Uh, you see there's an unspoken rule which states that one must observe a waiting period before--before... courting a friend's former paramour.
CASEY:
I'll bet that waiting period would be about 2 minutes, if you wanted.
VIN:
Ow! Oooh! Well done, Ezra.
EZRA:
What just happened there?
Season One
The Magnificent
Seven (Premiere) 1 2
3
One Day Out West 1 2
Working Girls
1 2
Safecracker 1 2 Witness 1 2 Nemesis 1 2
The Collector 1 2 Manhunt 1
2 Inmate 78 1
2
Season Two
The New Law 1 2 Sins Of The Past 1 2
Love And Honor 1 2
Vendetta 1
2
Wagon Train Part One 1 2
Wagon Train Part Two 1
2
The
Trial 1 2
Chinatown 1 2
Achilles 1
2
Lady Killers 1
2
Penance
Serpents
Obsession
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